A Trouble A Day

Really doesn't keep shit away but maybe boredom, I'm kinda entertaining when I want to be!

I suspect that some of you are off in a drunken stupor somewhere, and some of you are sleeping. Well even though I was advised not to, I came to work today. It was actually a good thing I did cause was there was very little do to! So I sat at my desk and took care of somethings that were marked for follow up in my Outlook. I had some scallion pancakes stashed in the fridge so around 12 I warmed them up. I'm eating, I'm reading, I'm multitasking like a mother trucker (I used to get so many technical fouls when I was playing b-ball that I started saying silly things instead of curses, not the smartest one cause an assholish ref once gave me a tech for saying mother trucker. even the other team was telling her I didn't curse and she was like "I don't care!" Wellll I got kicked out of that game 30 seconds later after I called her a frigid bitch) Next thing I know I've got a huge soy sauce stain on my new white button down (this is the best white button down that I have found in a long time, its a nice heavier weight of cotton with a nice sheen to it, I also have it in black and banker blue cause the price can't be beat and the quality is great.) Lucky for me I just got a Tide To Go Stain Remover (thank you Frenchie for asking me if I had one two weeks ago cause otherwise I might have never thought of putting on in my desk at work) and it is WONDERFUL! I mean its not completely out, but its out enough that you can't tell if it is a stain or a shadow. And its sure as hell better than walking around with the evidence of my klutziness staring everyone in the face.

So the next thing I know, its like 3 and Crapcakes is back from lunch, and I'm not really hungry. (Isn't it feed a cold, starve a fever or is that backwards?) So I start to thinking, and I really dont have a taste for anything except frozen yogurt. Now I'm gonna let you all in on a little secret. Well actually I dont know how much of a secret it is since every woman over 60 on the Upper East Side and Midtown East seem to know about it. It is Forty Carrots, a restaurant in Bloomingdale's (it used to be on the lower level but they moved it to the 7th floor) and they make the best frozen yogurt in the city. No, I haven't tried Pinkberries, but I don't have to, this shit rocks - hard! So now its like 4 cause I tried to talk myself into getting actual food, but el estomago said "Hell No you crazy bitch!" So on my way to Bloomies (which is a block away) I saw the following things:

• a bunch of teenagers dressed like ShopBoys, what I like to call Rocker Not, skinny jeans, high top Nikes, colorful assed hoodies. Listen up you little shits - at least call your crew in the morning and see what colorful ass shit they wearing today cause yall clash like hell and your giving me a fucking headache. That shits is so not cute. Some of those hoodies are kinda cute, but for the most part they look the bastard collaboration of Dali, Escher, Where's Waldo, and a crayon factory explosion. And I'm sorry but if you aren't a cocky millionaire rapper/producer appearing on 106th and Park, you got no got damned business wearing ugly huge white sunglasses. (and did you steal those from your Momma's I heart the 80s box, cause Kanye's were kinda suspect, but yours were all out tangalicious with them rhinestones?)
  
• So this adoreeebluh hispanic man hands me a spritz of Narciso Rodriguez's new fragrance (how cute it was on a really nice black ribbon and it smells kinda nice) and it was like when animals attack! Does anybody know if the perfume pushers get paid by the spritz and shit? I only took one other one (Sexual Femme by Michel Germain - who?) cause the chick wasn't pushy and I liked her suit, but that shit stinks like cat piss.
• Awwww po little booger - an adorable little blue eyed boy (why do boys always have the best lashes? his were like 2 inches long!) in his stroller with a itty bitty red cast on his arm. He was showing everyone in the elevator.
• They had Lemon Fro Yo! (lemon and vanilla are the only kinds of non fro yo that I really like, I eat the rest but I hate that fake fruit shit) and I didn't try it damn it! (I didn't realize til I was about to pay!)
• A puggle being dragged around by his inattentive owner. (these are puggles)
• I get off the elevator by my job and there is the buildings head engineer (who I've been flirting with for about 5 years) with this adorable dread locked guy and I got a "Wow" from the locked guy and a "It just makes my day whenever I see you." from the engineer (I kinda have a rule that its a bad idea to date men that you quite possibly will see everyday at work, otherwise I would be all over him. His body is sick and don't ask me how I know his body is sick, capice?)

Oh and I got about 7 "that looks sooo good!" (for the fro yo) from Bloomie's employees while I was trying to get outta there. And you should all be so proud of me, I didn't buy anything but the fro yo! Last time I went to get fro yo I ended up with some new perfume, and a FDNY calender (has anyone seen the naked pics of the guy on the cover? he had to go and ruin it for everybody!)