Aw They Missed Me!

Soooo the only reason that I'm here today is cause BossMan is gonna be outta town next week and I hadn't finished finalizing his arrangements. When I was out he asked that I contact all my travel folk and have them contact his sister OfficeManager with the details. Which I did. And all my travel contacts are really good at their jobs, so they sent OfficeManager the info she needed and cc'ed me so I would know it was done. There was the possibility that BossMan would have had two reservations at the same hotel, so I asked OfficeManager if the first reservation had been cancelled. And I got a "huh?" Now I'll admit, I'm kinda fever brained, but I only speak English so I know I wasn't poppin off in another language. And even if I did, homegirl speaks like 5 languages so I'm sure she could have figured it out. But no, I have to make my brain work and explain to her what I think may have happened. And then all of a sudden I'm the stoopid one "Trouble it was in your email, didn't you read it?" Uh no, I was busy mapping the veins in my eyelids, my bad! So you mean I'm here for no reason? That I could have stayed home and had chills in the comfort of my own bed, in comfy sweats instead of this got damned skirt? (and can I just say this bra I have on is the Debil! the got damned Debil!) Ah, but if I stayed home I would have missed all of my wonderful presents...

My first loverly present was three days worth of mail - and BossMan comes into my office talkinbout "Where's the mail? Oh!" like he didn't know it was in there. And I hope that wasn't a hint to separate the mail cause I'm hard of hinting motherfucker. I'll get to it when I get to it...

Then there was the full dishwasher, that had both clean and dirty dishes in it. That shit is getting run as is and I hope I give them all whatever the hell this is that I had! You trying to tell me that whoever started putting dirty shit in with the clean didn't notice the wet (theres no drier) and clean dished already within? What kind of fuckin common sense was used when you all decided to wait and let the SICK GIRL empty the dishwasher?

And apparently while I was out BossMan upgraded me to the psychic model (that must have been what the headache was about) cause now everyone thinks that I can read minds. He mentioned that he wanted to change something about his airline ticket in an email on Tuesday, and I wrote back and explained his options. He doesn't bother to tell me what it is that he's done, but I'm expected to know. And he was about to get real pissed, but I beat him to it and whipped out my blackberry and showed him how he never wrote back to me. He mumbled something that sounded like it might could have possible been "sorry" and I contemplated whether or not I could get away with throwing up on him. And OfficeManager is asking me to print out something and throwing shade cause I said that I couldn't. I was about to tell her that I couldn't because I wasn't on the email list and that if she sent it to me I would print it for her (you would think that I'm the only one in this bitch that has ever heard of "printer preferences"?) but she didn't let me finish so she went off for about 4 or 5 minutes and I read about that poor woman who died in police custody at the airport while on her way to get help for alcohol abuse. (well actually I'm not really sure if she was a victim or partially to blame for what happened to her, but the whole thing was a clusterfuck and I feel horribly for her kiddies!)

Does anyone else remember reading Choose Your Own Adventure? Well this is Choose Your Own Insult. My co-workers for the most part are a bunch of spoiled - dunderheads, idiots, cretins, ignoramus, philistines, troglodytes, nincompoops, or stumblebums