10.29.2007

Quickly

- Why is it so got damned hard to find some hot fucking apple cider in this got damned town!?! I blame this shit on Au Bon Pain, who used to carry it every fall and stopped for some reason. And I want Cider people, not some hot ass Mott's Apple Juice. Which incidentally is what they have in Hell aka Starbucks. Yup Steamed Apple juice. All I can think about is when you leave some apple juice out in the summer and come back to freaking tea. And to Cosi, first of all who the hell puts whipped cream on cider, it aint a fucking pie. Second of all, if your gonna advertise something, at least fucking have it, specially when I traipse my little ass 7 blocks away to get it.

- 20 minutes and a lot of cursing later, and I'm still waiting to speak to the Fraud Department at WAMU. Yall asses are real quick with the suspension of activity, how bout you apply that same gumption to PICKING UP THE GOT DAMNED PHONE!!!! Oh are all you all too busy leaving messages for people who brought tampons at a different drug store this month. Shitheads!

- Single Parents, it is sooo not cool to talk about how much you hate/can't stand your child's other parent. Telling me that you hate your sons mother, and cant stand to look at him cause he reminds you of her is sooooooo not a turn on. (King of Crap actually said this to me) Goin on and on about how your daughter's father aint shit, and aint ever gonna be about shit does not sway me to your cause. You sound stooopid, cause if they really aint shit, than what does that make you for having a kid with them?

- Mommy went on and on about how I'm always late for everything. That was last Thursday. This morning she made me wait for her cause she was taking the train and I swear if it wasn't for her I would have been on time. She even admitted it when we got the train station and watched the train pull out.

- I'm about 5'7", 113 pounds, and maybe 75 situps away from a six pack. If I feel like I need to wear some Spanx or a smoother under my sweaterdress, than your 200 pound ass most certainly should. And ooooh weee if she wasnt putting the tensile strength of that sweaterdress to the test, I dont know what was.

- Black is not always slimming, but you know what is? Walking your ass around the block a couple of times!

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Trouble! Sorry to laugh at your misfortune, but this was hahahaha funny.

"who the hell puts whipped cream on cider, it aint a fucking pie."

* Agreed about the single parents.

NaimaEfuru said...

Hey come back I added shit!

NaimaEfuru said...

and I missed you Anners

Anonymous said...

I came back! And I missed yov too, Trovbers!

Please stop talking about "tensile strength" because that cracks me up too much. And I'm still laughing about the apple cider not being a pie...

v r a nut!

af said...

haha i luvd spiced cider, especially @ all the farms/festivals in my state, buh my FAVE winter treat has to be kettle corn!! when iw as yunger we wude hav to perform @ this place, and there wude always be fresh hott kettle corn outside waiting for us! though i wudent buy it in microwave bags from the store b/c it has artificial sweeteners and no real sugar....

u needs to leeave wamu girl! find a dif bank, shih after i saw those wamu commercials w/ the half naked white men i was like im def not gonna bank w/ them haha!!

u shude hav sed to ur mum i've nvr been late for the one thing er month that matters... haha

75 sit ups away!? damn girl! do u work out @ the gym? haha stretching the sweaterdress, lawd how i luv collede fashion! girls w/ no asses wearing low rise jeans, and old stretched out sweaters haha!!

Walking your ass around the block a couple of times!<--too funny!!

Anonymous said...

Walking your ass around the block a couple times----DED-dead

And agree with the single parents thing. My parents did/do that all the damned time