Poor Confused Pooper!

Duke has issues, he's not entirely sure that he is a dog. Sometimes, he thinks he's people. When I was applying for this job, I had my first interview by phone, and for the first 4 minutes of the conversation you could hear Duke fussing at me in the background. I finally managed to get him out into the hall and close the door, all while answering CFO's questions as intelligently as possible. And CFO goes, "Was that your husband, do you need to go?" and I'm like, "No, that was my dog." CFO cracked up then we continued with the interview, after I got Duke to "speak" to CFO (he asked! and I was trying to get the job!) A week and a half later I had the job.

And when I first got him, I think he thought that I might not feed him, cause food used to disappear. I don't mean come home and find the contents of the fridge all over the floor and the dog throwing up. I mean that big son of a bitch used to steal shit and I would have no idea what the hell was going on. For a little while I just thought that Mommy was taking food from my apartment. I mean one time I made some baked ziti and separated out some to freeze (see Afro.) I put it in a plastic container and left it on the kitchen counter to cool off some more. I go in the backyard read a book for about an hour, come back into the kitchen and the tupperware is sitting right where I left it except its clean and empty. I mean not a drop of sauce out of place, not random noodles and perfect fucking placement! I figured Mommy just came down and put it in a different container and left me the clean one. It was about a week later when he snatched half a corn muffin out of my hand that I figured it out. He was good too cause if I had turned my head and didn't see him, I wouldn't have felt a thing. And boy did he swallow that quickly. It was kinda hard to chastise him when I was kinda impressed.

Then there was the time that I came home to find Duke eating a lollipop, holding the stick between his paws and licking away (I've been trying to get him to do this again cause it was adorable and I need a picture but he's not cooperating.) Or the time that he ate a whole pack of Hi Chews and left the pile of wrappers in the middle of my bed (what 120 pound dog do you know that unwraps candy?)

But if Duke is confused, so is my sisters cat Anansi. I go to their house and say, "Hey Nasi, show me your tummy!" And he sits down and rolls over like a dog!