Back in Brooklyn

So I didn't get a chance to finish the Richmond story while I was actually there, because Four was with me for the rest of the trip. I got back into Brooklyn on Monday, sleepy as shit due to a 6 am flight after 2 hours of sleep. By time I was getting into my nap on the plane we were landing! I had a great time! Even Four nearly passing out after the hot tub was fun! I told him not to drink too much wine before we got in!

I discovered alot on this trip. Chick-fil-a, target selling wine (and fireworks!), scattered hash browns from Waffle House, strong ass drinks in the clubs, and thats just the food and drink related stuff. I also found out that I could go away with a man and not want to kill him. And that living in NYC has spoiled me - I've had my drivers licence for over 10 years and I've driven maybe 10 times since then. That changed in VA. First I had to pick up the rental car before Four arrived. Then I took a trip to Target and Chick-fil-a, then I had to pick up Four from the airport. I also drove on Sunday since Four has a bad back and was all drugged up when it started bothering him.

For the most part, I really like his friends. They are all well educated, highly hilarious individuals. Get them together and its great jokes, and amazing conversation. And the men are almost all 6 feet tall or better, I felt like a midget in my flats! After the rehearsal dinner, we headed out to a club and it was hilarious for several reasons. It was interesting to watch the women in the club react to the guys we were with. And it was funny watching their reactions when the realized that just about all of them had hit the club with a woman by their side! Oh the hate, not that I can be mad at them. Then there was the dude that sweated out his whole suit. You would have thought that he would take his jacket off once he started dancing and sweating but you would be wrong. At the end of the night, he even danced his way out of the club. There was also a cover band that did an r&b version of Mrs. Officer. It reminded me of the wedding singer from The Hangover. I think I giggled through their whole set. I also found it interesting that the men there were alot older than the women, at least they looked older.

The wedding was beautiful. Black love is a gorgeous thing! The bride and groom make a beautiful couple. And the wedding cake was fantastic! We headed out to a club after the wedding but let me skip back to the part where I said that I like all of his friends for the most part. There was one chick there that I was really contemplating punching in the throat! I might have mentioned that Four and I went to the same high school and that he was two years behind me. Well this chick also went to our high school and was a year behind Four. So after the wedding Four introduces me to her and ask if I remember her from school, which I didn't. I stopped paying attention to the underclassmen that were behind Four. Didn't really know them and didn't really care to. My senior year, when she would have been a freshman, I was more concerned with getting out of there without having to kill someone.

But the school was very small, I think there was something like 87 kids in the whole school the year I graduated. And while I wasn't too concerned with making new friends my senior year, I was also captain of three sports teams, in the chorus and jazz band, in at least two plays, and on student government. So when Four asked me if I knew her, I couldnt say that I did at the time. He introduces me as his date and then says loud enough for her to hear, that we all went to the same high school. We get to the reception and Four is off talking to some of his friends, and I'm standing by our table with a couple that I met down there (by the way, I loved these two. Shes, let call her L, incredibly snarky!) and this chick is going to say to me, "so who do you know, the bride or the groom?" L shoots me a look and I'm thinking is this chick trying to make me feel like an outsider, because its clear that everyone knows each other, either because they went to school together, or because they are coupled up with people who went to school together. I tell her that I'm here with Jason and she hits me with an "Oh". You know they kind I'm talking about, thats laced with disdain. About 5 minutes later L ask me what the hell is that chicks problem and I truly cannot tell. I should also mention that it was about 5 minutes into the reception and she was already smelling like someone dumped 2 gallons of liquor on her head. The chick was down there with her husband, who has met a number of the crew before but is still a bit of an outsider like me. She left poor dude alone at the table for most of the evening and lord only knows where she went.

At the end of the night, after L and I made numerous jokes at her expense (I may not have a relaxer in my hair, but I know enough about them to say that she was about 6 weeks past needing a touch up - you trying to tell me that she's never heard of a flat iron?!) her and her poor husband are leaving and she's going to come up to me and say, "it was nice meeting you." And I say, we aren't just meeting, we went to the same high school and she comes back with a "yeah, but I don't remember you." Really bitch, for some reason I doubt that highly. While I may not remember too many underclassmen that I didn't have personal relationships with, I sure as hell remember all of the people who were ahead of me in school. I spoke at graduation, which all the underclassmen attended. I was one of the leads in the senior play, which again all the underclassmen attended. I was all over that school and you dont remember me? I'm just gonna say I doubt it and leave it at that.

Anyway back to me and Four. We discovered that we both have a sick sense of humor, which we already kind of knew but it was further demonstrated being around so many sharp witted people. We also discovered that he likes to play in my locks, although hes usually not even aware that he's doing it. We discovered that we really like sleeping next to one another, he's a great spooner. And when I got back, we discovered that we really missed sleeping next to one another. He's out of town on business and called me this morning around 8 just to hear my voice. We are turning into a very sappy couple.

The Weirdest Shit I Heard Today

So I know this guy, lets call him Ras.  He's from Trinidad and has dreads and its not unlikely to hear him go off about The Garden of Eden or The Nature of Man.  Buuuuut, he has a pretty thick Trini accent so I only understand about half of what he says. That always makes me very cautious when I have conversations with him.  So today I saw him and as usually despite the torrential downpour, he wants to have a confab.  I missed alot of it, that accent and his mumbling do not help, but here are some of the things I caught

"You'll be standing there a Pure Breed Dog, but everyone takes you for a man until you turn your back and become a God."

"I don't believe that no one is perfect.  I am exactly what Jah wanted me to be so therefore I am perfectly me."

"Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end..."

There was alot more about vexation, something about damnation, and a brief spiel about white niggers, but I missed alot of it trying to remember these three quotes.  I'm gonna have to start carrying a tape recorder so I can record his rants...

Run Away...

I can freely admit that I have a problem with commitment.  Its not that it scares me, just that I like to take my time before I commit to someone.  There is nothing that will send me packing quicker than a man who makes more of the things that I do than is necessary.  

Need an example?  Let's start with Big Mr. Sad.  Our first date was, interesting to say the least.  Mostly because my entire immediate family was there for a portion of it.  (We went to one of the Artist gallery openings)  I tried to impress upon him that while this was a first for me, a man meeting my entire immediate family in one sitting, but that he shouldn't make a big deal out of it.  I told him that there was no pressure.  Not long after that, came The Conversation.  "Sooooo, are you seeing anyone else?"  "No not currently, how about you?" "Welllll, no one as special as you are..."  My bullshit meter went off, loudly, and for several reasons.

1. I'm the newest chick, we've only been on one date, you don't know I'm special yet.  There is no doubt in my mind that I am, special that is, but I haven't even put on my A game yet.
2. I highly suspect that he was telling me what he thought I wanted to hear.  Just a little hint about me, when it comes to the choice between some meaningless fluff designed to please the ears and the cold hard facts, I'm more comfortable with the cold hard facts.  Compliments are one thing, bullshit is a whole nother other
3. Didn't you hear the "not currently" that I slipped in?  That was a clear indication that I'm not going to commit myself to you after one date and wild ride

It wasn't soon after the Conversation that I started to pull back.  Another ex of mine makes for a good example too.  The King of Crap (cockblocker extraordinaire - more on that another time.)  Last summer, when we were still seeing each other, he was at my house and Mommy was cooking.  She called me upstairs and asked if I was hungry and if I wanted to feed him too.  I was hungry and feeling kinda mellow so I said yes to both.  Mommy was about to set the table when I asked if she would mind if we ate after her. "I don't want him to read anything more into this than there is, me being polite and not kicking him out or eating in front of his face."  Ok, Mommy ate then KoC and I ate.

Still during the last convo we had, he's gonna say, "You can't mean that you don't want to see me anymore.  What we have is special, you're Mom cooked for me and you're just going to let me go?!"  Thats about the time that I hung up the phone...

What set me off...

you might want to take a look at the definition of defamation.  and by the by it would be comprehends, not has comprehension.

Listen Trouble.  You said that it was 'one-sided' ...I will repost everything, because I clipped it.  Think for two seconds that neither of us had colour.  I apologized to Pretty on her blog for my behalf and if this has turned into a laughing matter between all of you, that is fine.

Trouble, it was not your place to get in our argument.

As for visiting blogs, I came to yours constantly, and left comments.  You only came to mine recently and then you have been acting like I am a leper.  I don't care.

And from what I just read that Anners posted, it looks like a bunch of you are talking smack about me (how mature!). You have my email.  Write me.  Or post it on your blog.  I read it.  Do not speak of me as if I don't exist.  I have never seen anyone turn their attitude as quickly as you, Trouble, and I really thought highly of you at one point.

If PB don't want to come back, not many of us knew her anyways.  She never made it a point to come to my blog and still never could answer the 'loopy' question. Look back and tell me one reference to my medications making me loopy.  Try not to be so one-sided yourself, Trouble.

I don't even have a problem with PB because I never knew her.  I didn't get a chance to meet her...but you...I can't believe your ways.  But it's the internet.

Maybe Anners, in some small way, is playing you, but in a mature way, and let's pretend I am PB.

Don't worry, when I am done with the CSS here, I am going to start on my blog and if you like I will send you an invite to see how I really, really, really feel.

This comment was posted on TypHo Boulevard prior to the posts below.  Of course you can no longer find it on there because someone erased it.  Anyone else remember the Pink Elephant post?

I Usually Don't Do This...

...eh I'm lying!  If you knew me, you would know that I'm hell on wheels when it comes to research.  If you knew me, you would know that I don't change shit.  I wasn't the one removing multiple post over on the Boulevard.  If you knew me, you would know that I don't give a fuck what you think Harlequin.  You know me like I know Brittney Spears, I comments on what she presents to the public but at the end of the day, Brittney don't give a fuck about what I think about her and I could give half a fuck what you think about me.  Comments once a week for two months does not mean you know me Harlequin.  As for the statement that you made about me not participating on your blog, your full of shit.  Lets go see.  Oh wait how fucking convenient, the Gazette has been erased!  No matter, I have a good fucking memory, unlike some people.  Shall I talk about your medicine cabinet?  Too recent?  How about the novenas and drinking holy water? Or how about the post you wrote to your husband when he was on the road?  I hate to break it to you but you blog was never private and to assume that others didn't see it is ridiculous.  But that seems to be your thing, ridiculousness.

You stated that you thought people were talking about you behind you back.  Where?  I said my piece and I haven't changed it.  Its on my blog exactly how it was published.  Why is it that when you first read it, you immediately came back to the Bouley and said that you wanted to apologize to PB?  Now all of a sudden you think your tough and want to pop shit?  Fine, since you dont seem to remember what you said, or what other people have said, I've made you a little something.  Mind you this took me about 5 minutes to do, and I only went back to the 16th.  Ain't it a bitch when your words come back to bite you on the ass....

.

..Don't worry, you can come over to the medicine cabinet you saw anytime, and don't forget there is shit in the fridge too!  I got medicine from A-Z.  I just refuse to share any of the narcs.  I didn't know the going rate on the *insert narcotic name here* on the streets.  Shit, that would be my ticket to a Chanel in 30 seconds or less.  (I kid, I kid!)

Harlequin on TypHo Boulevard January 16th

Vagisil, I don't have feelings.  I am not sensitive.  If you grew up the way I did, feelings were laughed at and not allowed.  Believe me, I am not in anyway sensitive.  Besides, I know what you are about, so I don't even get offended.  So stop!

Harlequin on TypHo Boulevard January 16th 

By the way I'm pretty sure that the 16th was the day before the LoopySpice Post, wait that last quote gets better, right Harley?

30 seconds later, after a comment by Afro...

Child abuse is funny?  Afro, I am 30 years old and over the holidays, my momma punched me and smacked me in the mouth with a shoe.  I ain't never struck her though, but if she wasn't a cripple, I would have killed her.

Very rational thought there Harley, and excellent comprehension level since Afro was quoting Strangers with Candy.  I don't even have cable and yet I knew he was trying to lighten the mood.

What I was responding to with my Tribute to Pretty Black post, was the fact that on the post where Anners announced that PB would no longer be on the Bouley, instead of leaving it as a goodbye, it turned into a condemnation.  Why is it that you think that it is ok for Anners to comment on the situation but not me?  Wait you need a quote...

Jezzy... it's sad that she couldn't simply understand that what she said was mean.  You're not to blame...

Posted by Anners on January 18th

You wanna go erase some more shit off the Bouley Harley?  Cause I'll wait.  I never changed my comment after Anners did the TypHo post.  I believe there are ways to check that.  But you sure did change your shit real quick.  Good thing you can't change your comments on Snarky.  Hey lets post them!  And by the by, there are alot more loopy quotes from you but hopefully this will get you to Shut The Fuck Up!