Teenage Boys

So Four asked me to do him a favor since he's in Philly this week. A good friend of his, and a guy who went to high school with both of us (and I actually likes as a person even back then) runs a basketball camp for teenage boys one week each summer. It's actually not just a basketball camp because they also teach the boys leadership and life skills. They talked to them about how they can turn something they love (basketball) into something that can help them advance their lives. So I really had no problem saying that I would help out. And boy am I glad that I am for several reasons.

First, there is no better balm for a 31 year old woman's ego than to be the only female in a camp full of 30 boys and about 15 college educated men. Especially if she knows a thing or two about basketball which of course I do! The second reason is kind of related to the first. Since I'm the only woman, I naturally get alot of attention from the guys. But because GoodGuy and Four are such good friends they usually talk fairly often and I suspect GoodGuy must have mentioned something about that to Four because he has been calling to check on me at least three times a day. Once in the morning when he wakes up. Once while I'm at the camp to make sure things are going ok. And then there is our usual 2 hour conversation at night when I get home. Four has always been attentive but me being surrounded by males for 5 hours a day has taken it to another level.

Then there is the fact that it is rewarding as all hell. I highly recommend that everyone find a way to volunteer in their community in some way shape or form. There is no greater reward than making a difference in someone elses life. I haven't actually played ball in years so I dont think there is too much that I can offer the boys in the way of that, but I have yelled at alot of them about speaking up, introducing themselves with some pride, pulling their damn pants/shorts up, etc. I always leave tired but refreshed if that makes any sense. Yesterday I spent a good 45 minutes of my nightly convo with Four talking about various boys in the program and the potential that I see. I'm pretty sure that there are a couple of future stars in the program and one kid who is definitely going places - his personality and level of maturity is amazing, not to mention he's adorable and has a pretty good game.

So thank you Four for asking me to help, because I've really been enjoying myself!

The Boys...

...Hi Swag!  Hi Torrence! 

I can't help it Lady Shay!  I have always loved males.  Ever since I was a little girl, boys have fascinated me.  So much so, that the majority of my best friends have been males.  In fact, all of my friends that are not related to me (by friend I mean people that I have known for more than 10 years) are male.  When my sister and cousins wouldn't let me play with no, no problem, I just went and played with the boys.

That probably wouldn't have been a problem if I actually looked like a tomboy.  I've always loved clothes, so even when I was playing with the boy, there was no mistaking that I was a girl.  By the time I was 12 I had touched just about every adolescent penis on the block.  Don't take that to mean I was loose, at least I wasn't loose yet.  Alot of those touches resulted in a lot of pain for some unlucky little boys.  And the only boy that ever tried to touch me back, is still trying to get his left nut to descend.  I was just insanely curious and a penis was something that I didn't have.  I'm not ashamed to say that they fascinate me and I want one.  Not to replace what I have mind you.  

It wasn't until I was 13 that I realized that girls aren't really very nice to girls that hang out with boys.  Specially if they like said boys and can't understand why said boy would hang out with flat chested long legged girls that mostly hang out with boys.  Specially when its well known she doesn't put out (yet.)  Specially when she's definitely not a lesbian, shit, shes got absolutely no need for snot nose girls. 

Then as I got older, and I actually was putting out, my boys still had me.  Telling me when ever one of their little chicks would pop shit about me, usually right in front of the girl.  Punching dudes in the face cause they tried to play me.  Taking me to the supermarket in the middle of the night or the package store in the middle of the day.  Coming to get me when they know I don't have a ride.  Always being gentlemen even when they ain't getting no ass.  Never making fun of the fact that sometimes I eat more than they do.

So forgive me if I gush over the boys, they've always been quite special to me.

(BUT BOY DO I LURV ME SOME LADY SHAY! I think its the boobs, I don't have those either...)

and Hi Afro! - even though I consider you one of the girls, in a good way

Trouble says Stand The Fuck Up!

I'm sure you all know about the acquittal of the cops that shot Sean Bell.  If you don't, take your fucking head out of your ass and read a couple of fucking newspapers you asshat!  Seriously, more than one.  Pick up a Newsweek from time to time.  Anyway, on Monday people were asked to wear black in Sean Bell's honor.  I've said this once and I'll say it again, I don't see how wearing black shows any kind of support.  Especially in a city like New York where people routinely wear black all the time anyway.  It gets really hard to tell whose showing support and who just didn't feel like matching colors that morning.  I can steadily rely on the fact that my sister wears black on most Monday's and at least 2 other days out of the week.  That is if she's not sporting all black all week long.  But that's not the point, the point is what I WILL be doing to protest the death of a young black man in a hail of 50 NYPD bullets.  

On Saturday May 3 I will not be spending any money.  No quick trips to the corner bodega, no half priced or better bargains, no ebay, no gas, no IronMan, no ATM trips, not a bloody dime damn it.  I received a text message about the economic embargo on NYC and was asked to pass it along to all people of color in NYC.  But I think I can do a little better than that. I'm asking that all my blog folk pass along the message to all their blog folk to not spend a dime on Saturday.  It's a little bit of inconvenience that will have alot of impact.  Shit, things are so expensive nowadays, you'd probably be doing yourself a favor.  And if you are a business owner and you can do it, keep your doors closed on Saturday.

Honestly, I don't think that most people will do it.  But I'm putting it out there and hoping that you all will prove me wrong...

Cupcakes and Babies All Night Long!*

*Lady Shay said that to me.  She and PrettyBlack say the damndest things!  I'm still waiting for the right time to use the red velvet line...

• I thought of a time when straight men say cock instead of dick - cockblocking
• PB, not to get into your Tupac vs. Notorious BIG debate, but I just realized that part of the reason why I love Biggie is cause of the way he could tell a story in a rhyme.  I admire the same skill in Slick Rick and Nas
• Personally, I think the greatest rapper alive is Snoop Dogg.  longevity, adaptability, success, and a sick flow
• I did not buy the last two Jay-Z albums, in fact I dont even have bootleg copies
• I am not a fan of Ashanti, I repeat - I am not a fan of Ashanti BUT I can't get enough of that single she's got out now, The Way That I Love You
• I love my dentist - seriously.  I recommend him to anyone that I can.  I'm pretty sure that I've told you all this before but I'm not sure that I told you that Mommy has started seeing my dentist as well.  The first time that I went in after she had been there, the whole office gushed about what a nice lady my mom was.  Then I go in to see Dr. R and he's like, "You and your mom have the exact same jaw structure.  It's amazing!"  The strangest things excite people
• and speaking of teeth, Gutz (Cousin T & SuperSlags play sister) brought her man to MonkeyGirl's recital.  He's aight I guess but dude laughed at something and I got to see all inside his mouth.  It was scary to say the least.  I'm not a fan of people who show you their tonsels when they laugh but did I really need to know that he has a wicked cavity on the inside of one of his front teeth?!?  I think the fuck not
• I think I forgot to mention that one of my interviews was with a super hottie.  I know that they say that imagining your audience naked is a good way to overcome fear of speaking in public.  Well it did help me to relax but all sort of dirty wicked naughty hot thoughts were running through my head.  Good thing I'm one hell of a multi tasker.  About 6'2", nice broad shoulders, thin waist, and dressed.  I swear I heard a "ding!" when he flashed the pearly whites.  Something about pretty brown skin and nice white teeth.  I'm guessing he was Indian or Bangladeshi.  Whatever the fuck he was, it sure made a pretty pretty picture.
• I think I mentioned that I went to a house party with Cousin T. I'm never really quite sure what to make of house parties.  I was pretty sure that this one was gonna turn into one of those ones where there are friends, family, food, drinks, and a card game or two.  The fact that the host mother was there was an indicator.  But she didn't stay long and then the pigeons arrived.  Now when I say pigeon, I'm talking about the chicks that you can find in any city coast to coast.  There about as common in NYC as pigeons.  Sometimes the come in different colors, some may have a slightly different thing going on for them, they might even be domesticated, but they're still just flying rats.  Dirty, common, rude, loud, obnoxious, occasionally useful, sometimes diseased and every fucking where.  
  
• speaking of house party pigeons, I was wearing my Skinny Bitch t-shirt.  The writing on the shirt looks like twigs so I paired it with some skinny Seven jeans (For All Mankind) and some Minnetonka pocahantas boots (tall flat lace up suede boots with a suede fringe at the top.)  This chick comes up to me all drunk, talkinbout "I know right! They all call me skinny bitch at my job, and I'm like FuckYeahIAm!  Right?!?  Them bitches are just jealous they can't look like us!"  Uh, ewwwwww!  First of all, not to be all T-Rexy and shit but fuck it, she wasn't really all that skinny.  Second of all, I think I already said ewwww!  The shirt said Skinny Bitch, not Sloppy Drunk Bitch.
• and since I'm already talking about the party, PYT was there (damn, it took me a minute to remember what I've been calling the damn boy since I haven't been calling the damn boy) and I acted very immaturely.  I ignored his ass all night, that is I tried to.  His boy, who I'm cool with tried to give me shit about it.  PYT was cool for a minute, but thats all he lasted, a minute.  Ok, so maybe it was more like 7...

The Recital

So I actually ended up taking some video of my God daughters performance.  She was pretty good.  I can't even lie and say that most of the program was boring as fuck though.  I clapped for all of the kids, and none of it was actually painful, but boring.  They have a drumline thats pretty damned good.  I liked it even more since it included three young ladies.  But I felt bad for them since they were so much better than the rest of the band.  Most of the drumline looked bored to tears.  

Both sides of the family were there.  Monkeyboy (he is such a serious seven year old, but his deep voice always makes me smile) Monkeygirls stepdad, stepgrand, step aunt, and I think what might have been his new lady friend.  Plus Monkeygirls best friend and a friend of stepgrands. On our side was me, Cousin T, Grandma (Cousin T's Mommy), Greatgrand (who is my dads sister, and who lived downstairs in the house I grew up in.  She still lives there and boy do I have some crazy stories about Aunt Bling), Granddad (Cousin T's stepdad and Superslags dad), Aunt (u know her as Coco of the brown teeth, but boy has that changed! Superslags sister and Cousin Ts stepsister) Superslag, and Wackman (her man that she accused me of sleeping with.)  What struck me was the was that Superslag and her man were dressed compared with the way Stepdad and his lady were dressed.  One couple looked like two people past their prime still trying to dress like teenagers, and the other looked like two people much about their business, young professionals if you feel me.  I think you all are smart enough to figure out which couple was which.

There is this teacher at Monkeygirls school, ooooooh boy is there this teacher.  It was a full house and he was trying to make sure that everyone had a seat.  He sure as hell could have sat on my lap.  And do I know my god child or do I know my god child?  Cause something told me when I was buying her tights to buy an extra pair.  Good thing cause she has an obsession with being properly lotioned, just like myself, put on too much and got grease stains on the first pair she put on.  GodMommy Troubsy to the rescue!

I was going to post some pictures of her but then I decided against it.  It seems hardly fair when I never post pictures of myself.  Not to mention they all include other peoples children.  With all the pervs that slide through here looking for black chicks fucking in boots it was a no brainer.

The Fight

Huh, its strange, I was thinking about doing a post about the Merryweather Hatton fight but I forgot.  Somehow I still got some hits off of it.  Maybe those 8 people were psychic...

Anyway, I went with Cousin T and her man to Bobby's cousin's house to watch the fight.  It was only about 10 people which was cool.  And the house was for Merryweather, which was even cooler.  His last fight I was at a hispanic house and they were for De La Hoya.  Needless to say it almost came to blows a couple of times during the evening.  This time we were clearly told, "If Merryweather don't win, yall got to get the fuck out!  Cause I'll be damned if you see me cry!"

As you all probably know, nobody got kicked out.  I'll admit I was a little scared for a minute that the judges score cards weren't going to go Floyd's way.  But I did notice that every time he landed a punch, poor lil Ricky's head was snapping back like a crash test dummy.  I was pretty sure that if Floyd kept it up, he was gonna get him.  AND HE DID!  I mean did you see that shit!  First the snap back and then BAM! head first into the corner guard (Slick told me what that shit is really called, but I dont remember, sorry Slick.)  Two more hits and it was over.  I swear Ricky's camp threw in the towel before he even hit the ground!  And did anybody else peep the smile that came over Floyd's face when dude hit the ground?

Anyway it was a good fight, really made me want to go out and knock a fucktard out!

OH

and can I tell you how I took a cab to work today because I was running late, and ended up getting here at 11 instead of 10:30 cause the cab driver didn't listen when I told him to take the Queensboro? Williamsburg is faster my ass....

and about how Players Circle was on Power 105.1 this morning and one of the dudes (I think it was Titty Boy - wtf @ his name?!) says, "Timberlands, nah, no disrespect to them, but I'm rocking Gucci Boots." or something to that effect. Whatever he said, that shit made me chuckle. Thats right dudes, get your grown man on