The Make Up

So Four let me be mad for like a day. Then he called me and asked if we could get together and discuss what was going on. I have to give him this, the man is smart and he really pays attention to me. I've never been the type of woman to yell and scream at a man that I'm seeing but Four made sure that wasn't even an option. In fact he made sure that I was going to be as happy as possible before we got down to brass tacks. What did he do? He picked me up and took me to Five Guys! Yes, the way to my heart is through my stomach! How could I be really pissed when I knew he was taking me to my favorite burger joint. So even though we started the conversation in the car on the way there, I still had a bit of a smile on my face.

We got through it calmly, with a frank and open conversation about what was really the heart of the matter. I felt as if he really didn't want to go and showed it by trying to cut it so close with getting there, He felt that I just completely shut him down and gave up on him. This is especially poignant because the previous week I had told him how I usually dump guys after three months rather than invest more time with them. He thought that was what I was doing to him since it was about three months since we have been dating. Funny thing is, that have never even crossed my mind. I actually think that I might be falling in love, but since that would be something that I have never done before I'm not sure if I can trust my feelings.

Four broke up with a long time girlfriend at the end of last year and it really sent him for a loop. I personally think the woman was an idiot with self esteem issues but to be honest I am extremely greatful to the dummy. I mean without her fucking up, I wouldn't be with him now, and if it hadn't ended as badly as it did, then I dont think Four would even have considered dating me. It's not that he wouldn't have been attracted to me cause lets face it, I'm a hottie. But I am not anything like the typical woman that he dates. Despite gaining about 20 pounds (in all the right places!) since January, I'm still alot slimmer than the women that he has dated in the past. As he put it, he usually goes for the big body model and that is definitely not me. Also I have never had a problem admitting when I'm wrong - Four calls it my auto correct feature. Then there is the fact that we joke around alot more than either one of us have ever done with a partner. It is not unusual for me to call him a jerk at least once during a conversation and vice versa. We constantly make fun of each other and ourselves and laughter is a big part of our relationship.

All this has kinda helped me to realized what I've been missing in my relationships in the past. Four travels alot for work and his latest assignment is a 6 month stint in Philly. He started last week and brought me with him. I have to admit that it gave me a taste of what a housewife would feel like, sending him off to work in the morning, greeting him in some naughty lingerie when he got back. But it also kind of spoiled me, I miss falling asleeep and waking up next to him. I think I've got it bad...

Lions, Tigers and Bears

Jazmine Sullivan's song is really speaking to me right now.  I feel like for the first time in my life, I'm in a truly mature adult relationship.  We've actually known each other since high school, and as is my way, Four is younger than me.  We hadn't seen each other in a couple of years, but he was always one of my favorite people back in the day.  This was despite the fact that he used to love to hug me when he was sweaty (from playing basketball) and was always poking holes in my afro.  Back in high school we had a brother sister relationship, and for a minute when we found each other again, thats how it was.  He invited me to his birthday party and I while I noticed that he was looking a little yummy, I kind of chalked it up to the fact that I had been celibate for a good while.  He made a point of introducing me to his boys, and by doing so, I got alot of dirty looks from some of the females in attendance.  One in particular looked like she was ready to scratch my eyes out!  Cousin T was with me, and we had a great time.

Then about a two months ago, I was in the house bored and decided to see what he was up to.  On his way back to Brooklyn about to head to his boy's party, did I want to tag along?  Most definitely.  I put alot of thought into my outfit.  Not because I wanted to look good for Four but because I didn't want to get the side eye from any of the chicks that he might want to bag.  Bubba (my best white boy) and I have arrived at parties together and I know from those experiences how tight women can get when they see a boy they want to bag arrive with a female.  So I wore some tight jeans that make my new booty (I've gained about 15 pounds since September) look great and a low cut dolman sleeve shirt.  Did my makeup a little more subtle than I usually do for a party and was ret to go.  Four texts me that he's outside and when I open my front door, he's standing in front of his MDX waiting for me.  I realize now that I've lowered my standard considerably in the past, because this was the first time in a long time that a man was actually waiting to open the car door for me.  

Four gives great hugs.  I know I've never been that big, but I always see myself as a big burly bitch.  But hugging his 6'4" frame made a bitch feel dainty and ladylike and damn it if I didn't like it!  But I'm still thinking that we're just friends and that he's looking at me as a big sister not a potential partner.  We hit the party and one of his good friends from high school (who I always thought was a sweetie) was there.  Four and I are joking about all the tall men in the party and he's telling me that I should go do my thing.  But for some reason I thought it wouldn't be cool and I stayed by his side.  We sit down and sure enough he takes the "she's with me stance."  That's when I started wondering, "is this a date or am I just out of practice being around male friends?"  But no the second thing is not true.  I recently hung out with my gorgeous god-brother with no problem. (You might be thinking that of course I wouldn't hit on my god-brother, but we hadn't seen each other from the time we were about 9 until about 2 years ago and we are in no way related by blood.)  So what was going on with me?

We leave the party and I'm still deep in thought about what the hell is going on between me and Four.  I'm not paying attention and two boys start a tussling.  Four grabs me by the waist and pulls me in close to him and honestly I just about melted.  Something about being in his arms just felt soooo nice.  And I picked up that he liked me being there when the boys stopped the bullshit and he still didn't let me go.  We went out to eat after and just like in high school the conversation was great.  We definitely can wax poetically about more now than we did in high school, but I remember that we were never at a loss for words when we were together back then either.  He could always make me laugh with his strange sense of humor and acerbic wit and I've found that nothing has changed about that.  He also has the most uncanny ability to say the most outrageous things to me without me getting offended or pissed off.  Actually they usually just make me laugh.

So he drives me home and the whole way there I'm wondering if I'm the only one who thought that this really felt like a date.  I'm wondering if I kiss him will he pull back, let me because he doesn't want to offend me (and besides what man doesn't like kissing a hot woman!?) or will he be thinking the same thing that I am - wondering what those lips will feel like?  So we get to my house and he gets out to open my door.  For a second, I thought he was going to kiss me, but instead I got another one of those hugs.  It was a great hug, don't get me wrong, but I wanted to a kiss.  So what do I do?  I bet your thinking that I reached up and planted one on him.  You'd be wrong.  Or maybe that I asked him straight out to kiss me.  You'd still be wrong.  You know what my smooth ass does?  I mush him!

Whatever doesn't kill me...

This past year has really been a test for me in all aspects of my life.  Career, education, personal relationships, self esteem - it all went to shit.  But I'm thankful for all the crappy things that I went through.  The second lay-off proved to be a blessing in disguise, although truth be told it hit me like a ton of bricks.  I wasted alot of times thinking hateful things at that woman. (sidebar - what kind of idiot hires back someone who quit less than a year before to go follow their dreams?!? but at this point I laugh at her stupidity and wish the two of them all that they deserve) And that just sent off a spiral of realizations.

I spent all of my energy and time working and I neglected myself to the point where I wondered if I would be able to pick up the pieces.  Stopped going to school to finish my degree because I was "needed" at work.  And all for what?  Nothing that had any real value to me as an individual.  Buying the house was about the only thing that was worthwhile from that whole career woman endeavor.  I sacrificed alot of relationships in order to be there for a man that was paying my bills (BossMan) but did nothing else for me.  I realized alot about myself last September.  First and foremost was that I needed to stop feeling sorry for myself - there are alot more people out there in worse situations than I was in.

Second thing that I realized was that I really didn't like the work that I had been doing.  Sure, being a personal/executive assistant was easy for me, especially since I've always been able to keep smiling no matter what the circumstances, but it wasn't anything that I was passionate about.  I also realized that I missed my drive, my passion, my reason de etre.  I missed being creative and relatively carefree.  I missed waking up in the morning with a smile on my face and I was determined to get that back in my life.

Then I realized that I have a tendency to over think things.  There was a time when the people who know me would describe me as adventurous or spontaneous.  I was famous for leaping without looking but somehow always making it work.  Not so true anymore.  I wondered when I became such a worry wort and somehow I managed to start worrying about that!

I took a look back at my life and saw that I've been working full time since I was 19 and decided it was time for a break.  Especially when I realized that I have never been on unemployment in my life.  Six months was the longest time that I had ever been out of work and I'm not sure that counts since I was still being paid.  So I decided to take some time off.  Time off from work, time off from worry, time off from the things that stole my joy.

So I went back to school in January, and maybe it was the leap without looking part of me that made me think I should take 5 classes (one writing intensive) my first semester back in about 6 or 7 years.  Well guess what?  I kicked ass!  Turned out a 29 page research paper that I still can't believe that I pulled off and so far I've got 2 A's and 2 A-'s (still waiting for that fifth grade.)  Two more classes and an internship (that I actually already did) and I'm done with my BA.  Decided to go for my masters in Urban Planning or Affairs (haven't quite decided which one) and I'm thinking maybe about teaching - got an offer to assistant teach Urban Studies at the high school I graduated from - no pay, but I think I will really enjoy doing it.

I've reconnected with alot of people (thanks facebook) and put myself out there and made alot of new friends.  Speaking of reconnecting, I'm actually seeing someone now who makes me extremely happy - someone that I've known for years.  Had we reconnected last year this time, I'm pretty sure that I would have screwed it up, but so far so great.  He really makes me feel incredibly special and sexy and I'm pretty sure that I make him feel the same way.  But we are taking it slow because regardless of what happens between us, I don't want to lose him again.

So that's where I've been and what I've been up to.  Reevaluating, readjusting, relearning and most importantly living.  What the fuck have you guys been up to!?!?!

Kisses bitches!

Yours truly, Trouble

Fashion for Change

Oh. My. Gawd!  I just absolutely must have/will wither without the following items.  Seriously.

• Marc Jacob's Obama '08 Button Tote Bag - $75
• Rag & Bone's Change is Awesome Tote Bag - $75 (yes I need two tote bags!)
• Tracy Reese's Obama '08 Black Ladies Long Sleeve T - $70
• Nanette Lepore's Hope Anchor With Pin Ladies T - $65 (OMFG I lurv her!)

There are also t-shirts by cutie patootie Pharrell Williams, Juicy Couture (Dude, Where's The Hope?),  Alexander Wang, Zac Posen, Narciso Rodriguez, Vera Wang, Maria Cornejo (i really like hers too), Russell Simmons, Tory Burch (which would look absolutely adorable with some cuffed jeans and a pair of her ballet flats) and more people who I either don't feel like typing, don't know or don't care for.

You Know What's Good?

• Adele's album 19
• Creme Puffs from Beard Pappa
• The Treats Truck
• the softness of my sister's afro
• gorgeous brown babies
• me in one of my favorite outfits (I have about 20)
• well groomed little girls in pretty simple dresses
• that gorgeous chocolate man that I work with that called me Lady Trouble when he introduced himself to me - swoon fucking worthy
• the fact that my job has absolutely no problem with coworkers getting it on
• my Momma's limeade 
• that Paul Frank Julius hoody with the puppets on the sleeves 
• love
• that moment right before orgasm when your breathe catches and the world seems to stop
• sweaty sated bodies intertwined
• watching Katee and Will dance the Pas de Deux choreographed by Desmond Richardson and Dwight Rhoden again, even with the flight flub on the turn the first time it was still so much better than good
• me on top

Rock me sexy jesus...

...never heard the song, but everytime I hear the title I always giggle.  

Sooo, TheJob is spanking my ass.  And since I love a good spank, I adore TheJob.  The challenge, the people, the candy.  I got it though an amazing temporary agency that I would love to recommend to people in the NYC area, but I gotta see a copy of your resume first, cause I'm not sending them duds, ya feel me.  That's also why I'm not posting the name of the agency on my blog.  Anyway, I'm working hard, using a good 80% of my brain, which is a huge gain over the maybe 2% I was using at the old place.  It's not a cake walk, but then again I would probably hate it if it was.  Because of that whole actually using my brain thing, I might not be as on it as I once was way back when, but I will continue to post.  

And I promise that sometime this weekend I will catch back up on my blog reading...

The Boys...

...Hi Swag!  Hi Torrence! 

I can't help it Lady Shay!  I have always loved males.  Ever since I was a little girl, boys have fascinated me.  So much so, that the majority of my best friends have been males.  In fact, all of my friends that are not related to me (by friend I mean people that I have known for more than 10 years) are male.  When my sister and cousins wouldn't let me play with no, no problem, I just went and played with the boys.

That probably wouldn't have been a problem if I actually looked like a tomboy.  I've always loved clothes, so even when I was playing with the boy, there was no mistaking that I was a girl.  By the time I was 12 I had touched just about every adolescent penis on the block.  Don't take that to mean I was loose, at least I wasn't loose yet.  Alot of those touches resulted in a lot of pain for some unlucky little boys.  And the only boy that ever tried to touch me back, is still trying to get his left nut to descend.  I was just insanely curious and a penis was something that I didn't have.  I'm not ashamed to say that they fascinate me and I want one.  Not to replace what I have mind you.  

It wasn't until I was 13 that I realized that girls aren't really very nice to girls that hang out with boys.  Specially if they like said boys and can't understand why said boy would hang out with flat chested long legged girls that mostly hang out with boys.  Specially when its well known she doesn't put out (yet.)  Specially when she's definitely not a lesbian, shit, shes got absolutely no need for snot nose girls. 

Then as I got older, and I actually was putting out, my boys still had me.  Telling me when ever one of their little chicks would pop shit about me, usually right in front of the girl.  Punching dudes in the face cause they tried to play me.  Taking me to the supermarket in the middle of the night or the package store in the middle of the day.  Coming to get me when they know I don't have a ride.  Always being gentlemen even when they ain't getting no ass.  Never making fun of the fact that sometimes I eat more than they do.

So forgive me if I gush over the boys, they've always been quite special to me.

(BUT BOY DO I LURV ME SOME LADY SHAY! I think its the boobs, I don't have those either...)

and Hi Afro! - even though I consider you one of the girls, in a good way

Brownie

So I tried to call it quits with Brownie this weekend.  I guess my reasons are kind of silly, but it really doesn't take much for me to cut and run.  I once broke up with a guy because he got mad when I forgot his birthday.  (And nicely had that fool turned around so that it was his fault that I was dumping him.)  Then there was the guy who asked me to put Duke outside.  (In his defense, he was mildly allergic, but Duke lives here, you sir do not.)  Back in college, I once kicked a boy out of my room with the excuse that his breathing was disturbing my sleep.  (Well, it was!)  Needless to say, I'm not the chick that is trying to tie a brother down.  But at the same time, I feel as though if I've been seeing someone for over 3 years, I should be getting a little more out of the deal then some mostly good dick.  

I'm trivializing of course, Brownie and I have had some great conversations and we bounce ideas off one another all the time.  It's just that he lives so far from me, that when we do see each other, it's usually about how much sex we can have in the alloted time.  I'm guilty of falling prey to my hormones just as much as he is, but I always end up feeling a little cheated when its all said and done.  And I said as much to him, and he came back at me with a, "Well you know I want you, babygirl, that goes without saying.  I can admit that I get a little carried away when I see you, (it's that little thing I do when he's behind me) but you should know that its always been more than sex at least for me.  You gotta give me some credit here, I always come after you..."

Which is true, he may wait a couple of months, but he doesn't give up on me.  Lord knows I can be frustrating as hell!  Most of you will have caught that I said, "I tried to call it quits" not I broke up Brownie.  Thats because we talked and it seems that he doesn't think I take him seriously, and he feels like whenever he wants to take me out, I always say that I'm doing something with either my sister or Cousin T.  (which sounds like something I would say.)  And that he knows and understands that I have my own life, and that he would ever try and take that away from me, but that he wishes that I would try and make a little more time for him.  "I want you to call me not just when you want to see me, or when I ask you to call me back, but because you just want to talk to me..."

It was all kinda sweet and shit, but can I honestly say that it also kinda scared the crap outta me!  I got my Nike Rifts by the bed just in case I need to get my FloJo on...

Boo!

Yes I know it's been awhile.  And a lot has happened in the land of Trouble...

• Almost got back with PYT
• Got back with Brownie
• Went to Martha's Vineyard with Cousin T and The Gang
• Got the plague from Gutz (she's Bobbie when she ain't giving me contagious viruses)
• hung out with J.O. (he's Cousin T's best friend)
• hung out with Bubba a couple of times
• saw Grant Hill!  (oh my Gawd! can I just say that I have had a crush on that man since he played for Duke and if that didn't make me feel old, the 10 year old twin boys I was with at the time had no idea who he was - the man is still fine.  No disrespect Tamia)
• went on my annual trip to the movies (I am REALLY not a fan of sitting in the cold cold dark with a bunch of strangers surrounded by surfaces whose cleanliness are entirely too questionable for my liking. I saw Hancock - felt like it was missing a half hour, but entertaining for the most part.)
• found a temp agency that actually got results.  as in sent me on more than one interview within the first week of me interviewing with them.  as in ALL of the jobs that they sent me on were in my salary range AND interesting as hell.  as in bitch got two offers...
• oh, did I mention I got a job?
• got a kick ass job
• got an exciting wonderful challenging engaging lucrative position 
• did some serious shopping on a budget
• ran into Giraffe from the OldJob on the train one morning.  Congratulations on the baby boy!
• went to a couple of parties
• i think i might have run into a boy that i used to love when I was a freshman and sophomore in college.  shit, he loved me too, a least a couple of nights. well anyway, dude was a lot paler and not as cute as i remember.  hence, the i think i might have, instead of a oh, i ran into.
• made some spec-fucking-tacular red velvet cupcakes for MonkeyBoy's 9th Birthday.  It was at Dave & Busters and half the staff was lingering to see if they could get a left over. 
• got really fed up with Brownie's bullshit and came to the conclusion that some dudes just don't change and I am in no way shape or form interested in trying to change any damn body.  I'm not one of those women who is going to tell you what I think you should or should not be doing.  I expect to be dealing with a grown ass man who knows what the fuck is right and what the fuck is going to make me suspect that some shit just ain't right with you.  And if I come to the said conclusion, that some shit just ain't right with you, I am not going to waste any more of my time.  
• told Brownie to have a nice life - wait that's on my to do list...
• saw all kinds of short pant atrocities!  I'm talking ass hanging out the bottom AND the top, thighs that should have been far from hungry devouring inseams like they were baby carrots in a room full of dieting women, all kinds of colored printed and patterned underwear underneath white of all things.  I gotta say ladies, some of you are really trying to give short pants a baaaaad name.  
• saw one of the WORST TATTOOS EVER!!  it was so bad and horrific that I dont even think I can describe it properly.  I was on the beach, and there was a woman in a bikini with flames tattooed around her torso.  But, my gawd, her torso.  And I think the tattooist might have been on crack, or having a seizure, or a heart attack.  Or that might just have been the impression that her cottage cheese gut and stretch marks gave his work...
• bowled a 146! (in Wii bowling but I think it should count, that's my best score evah!)
• I have not been online for more than downloading music/movies/porn (all legally of course!  itunes is my false idol.) so I haven't been reading your blogs.  sorry!  I'm a flake like that.  You should forgive me cause I'm cute.  And did I mention I got a job?  You should be proud of me. I promise to heaps loads and loads of (unwanted) attention on you immediately.  kisses, bitches!
• I missed you all terribly! even that sassy bitch I've been stalking...
• decided to change the blog a little, nothing drastic.  Just realized that a lot of my old content was focused on the OldJob.  I will never say that I didn't enjoy being there at one point, but I am so grateful/thankful/blessed that things worked out the way they did.  I wouldn't be where I am today without them and for that the OldJob will always hold a special place in my heart.  Sadly, it also still leaves a bit of a sour taste in my mouth and I am determined to start fresh.  So, no talk about my job.  Not even a hint, except to say it's great and I love my new boss.  Seriously, love.  But not like that.  Anyway, I started this blog with funny stories about taking the train, and my luck or lack there of in love.  A snarky black woman takes on the world with a bit of humor, a hell of a lot of sass, and a shit load of curiosity.

*Please note that the above list is NOT in order of occurrence.  Names have been changed to protect me from the dumbasses out there, what can I say they outnumber me.  and HI SWAG!

Lucy & Ricky Retardo...

... the title has nothing to do with the post, but thats what my play cuz and her man are known as.

Hello people!  I'm taking a little break from blogging, on my grind!  I will be back soon.

Kisses bitches,

Trouble 

(& hi Swag!)

Grrrrrrrr, partie duex*

*no I don't speak french, Mac Dashboard translated it for me (Non, je ne parle pas francais, Mac Dashboard traduit lui pour moi!)

So I went on the interview at the international corporation today.  Nice office, super tight security as is found in most NYC office buildings these days.  Let me start off by saying that when I was talking to the TempAgent, she kept saying to me how they had placed the woman that I would be meeting with sometime ago.  And although she (the TempAgent) had only met with my interviewer two or three times, she could just tell that we were going to get along.  I took this to mean that I was meeting with a black woman, and I was correct.

Can I just state for those non-black people out there that might not know, that just because two women share a racial designation and a similar occupation, does not mean that they are automatically get along.  Case in point, my fucking interview today.  Homegirl didn't like me from the minute she saw me in my Calvin Klein linen blend herringbone suit and Max Studio pumps.  Actually I should list those in opposite order since when I turned around to meet her, she was working her way up from my bad ass round toe pumps.  I'm sure some of you out there reading this are probably thinking I'm a conceited lil bitch whose just a tad full of herself, and honestly you'd be mostly right.  I'm also secure enough with my own shit that if I see another woman with some nice sandals (the lady in the nail salon last week) or a great dress (that sister on the C train) I will give you a compliment.  So I know when someone is looking at me like, "Ooooo those shoes are nice!" and when someone is looking at me like, "Look at this uppity bitch!"  But I am a professional, professional what I don't know, so I smiled my brightest and friendliest and greeted her with nothing less than grace (with a tad of humility thrown in to make her feel better about herself.)

We get down to the interview and errrrrrrrrrrrrkkk! wait a minute, TempAgent told me I'd be supporting 9 executives but Interviewer is telling me it's actually about 12.  And the position is for about 6 months instead of the 3 TempAgent implied.  I already know that they DO NOT want someone who is going to be interviewing during lunch.  So I guess asking for an hour off to go to an interview is out as well huh? Let me ask you this, what the hell am I supposed to do 7 months down the line if they decide not to hire me on full time?  Do I explain on my next set of interviews that I took a job at half my normal pay when they ask me what I've been doing for the last six months?  And if they do hire me, do you really expect me to believe that they are going to automatically double my salary upon hire when I've been more than happy to do the work for less for the last 6 months?  Somehow I don't think so...

 And why the hell can't this damn woman look me in the eye!  Not a fucking good sign.  Is there something hanging out of my nose?  Is my eyeliner smeared across my face or some shit?  I KNOW there's nothing between my teeth - I didn't eat anything, I was a little nervous.  The fact that this woman is looking everywhere but in my eyes is distracting the fuck out of me and I'm not answering her questions with my usually savvy or panache.  My wit is abandoning me and my nerves are starting to take over.   I'm second guessing my decision to wear my suit.  I mean after all Interviewer is wearing some slacks with an open knit sweater and tank underneath (next time she should opt for either a neutral shade or a matching one, cause the white tank under the navy blue sweater was what I would call corporate.)  Then she's telling me that she wants me to meet with her supervisor and an older white woman enters the office.  Interviewer exits and my next interview begins.

Complete opposite experience.  She's looking me in the eye.  She's smiling at my answers, shit, she's actually listening to my answers.  I've gotten her to laugh.  What's the difference?  It surely isn't me.  I'm acting the exact same way with the Supervisor that I was with the Interviewer.  Maybe it's because Supervisor has only been there for 6 months herself so she's got no reason not to like me.  Maybe it was all in my imagination....

Love and Hate

• I love watching my god daughter grow up, remembering the first time I saw her, the day after she was born, causing a fuss in the incubator room
• I hate the fact that she failed her fucking social studies test.  Come on kid, it's Social fucking Studies!  I know she can read so what the fuck?!?
• I love that my mom still remembers things that I used to love as a kid and will bring them home to surprise me
• I hate the fact that most of the time, the things she remembers are things that I made myself sick on and no longer eat
• I love my incredibly silly and equally talented brother in law - I swear Hautechick, if you two break up, I'm going with his ass
• I hate the pressure of having to bring home and equally wonderful man of my own
• I love that I have "met" so many wonderful people through my blog - PrettyBlack, LadyShay, Daners, Afro, Anners, Jennifer, The Swagalicious One (Damn! Man puts up a pic of hisself and single female bloggers start to flocking huh?  Must be that swagger man) and everyone else
• I hate that some of you are so fucking far away.  Damn, bitches could really cause some fucking trouble (*tee fucking hee!) if we were within driving distance!
• I love that Shay can smell lavender in FL and I'm smelling gardenia's in NY
• I hate that bitches are getting some and I'm not!  Ok, so not really but I was going with the theme here.
• I love that a bad bitch like me can sleep til 11:30 AND STILL buy a fucking Coach bag when ever the fuck she wants it!  (wanna be a bad bitch? ask me how - I should get that shit made into a t-shirt)
• I hate that I wasn't taking better care of myself while I was working.  There was no got damn reason for me to be that skinny and that stressed out.  For real
• I love that I can feel insecure as fuck some days but I still act like my shit smells like roses
• I hate that I feel insecure at all
• I love that I can cry at the drop of a dime.  
• I hate that dumb chits think that cause there might be tears in my eyes, I won't hit them
• I love how soft the underside of Duke's snout is
• I hate that my Pooper is getting old 
• I love my paradoxes - girly tomboy, conservatively liberal, casually glamorous, well mannered potty mouth, sweetheart bitch of an underachieving success.
• I hate that I haven't found my match yet
• I love that I haven't settled for less than the right man
• I hate that I've never fallen in love yet

Cupcakes and Babies All Night Long!*

*Lady Shay said that to me.  She and PrettyBlack say the damndest things!  I'm still waiting for the right time to use the red velvet line...

• I thought of a time when straight men say cock instead of dick - cockblocking
• PB, not to get into your Tupac vs. Notorious BIG debate, but I just realized that part of the reason why I love Biggie is cause of the way he could tell a story in a rhyme.  I admire the same skill in Slick Rick and Nas
• Personally, I think the greatest rapper alive is Snoop Dogg.  longevity, adaptability, success, and a sick flow
• I did not buy the last two Jay-Z albums, in fact I dont even have bootleg copies
• I am not a fan of Ashanti, I repeat - I am not a fan of Ashanti BUT I can't get enough of that single she's got out now, The Way That I Love You
• I love my dentist - seriously.  I recommend him to anyone that I can.  I'm pretty sure that I've told you all this before but I'm not sure that I told you that Mommy has started seeing my dentist as well.  The first time that I went in after she had been there, the whole office gushed about what a nice lady my mom was.  Then I go in to see Dr. R and he's like, "You and your mom have the exact same jaw structure.  It's amazing!"  The strangest things excite people
• and speaking of teeth, Gutz (Cousin T & SuperSlags play sister) brought her man to MonkeyGirl's recital.  He's aight I guess but dude laughed at something and I got to see all inside his mouth.  It was scary to say the least.  I'm not a fan of people who show you their tonsels when they laugh but did I really need to know that he has a wicked cavity on the inside of one of his front teeth?!?  I think the fuck not
• I think I forgot to mention that one of my interviews was with a super hottie.  I know that they say that imagining your audience naked is a good way to overcome fear of speaking in public.  Well it did help me to relax but all sort of dirty wicked naughty hot thoughts were running through my head.  Good thing I'm one hell of a multi tasker.  About 6'2", nice broad shoulders, thin waist, and dressed.  I swear I heard a "ding!" when he flashed the pearly whites.  Something about pretty brown skin and nice white teeth.  I'm guessing he was Indian or Bangladeshi.  Whatever the fuck he was, it sure made a pretty pretty picture.
• I think I mentioned that I went to a house party with Cousin T. I'm never really quite sure what to make of house parties.  I was pretty sure that this one was gonna turn into one of those ones where there are friends, family, food, drinks, and a card game or two.  The fact that the host mother was there was an indicator.  But she didn't stay long and then the pigeons arrived.  Now when I say pigeon, I'm talking about the chicks that you can find in any city coast to coast.  There about as common in NYC as pigeons.  Sometimes the come in different colors, some may have a slightly different thing going on for them, they might even be domesticated, but they're still just flying rats.  Dirty, common, rude, loud, obnoxious, occasionally useful, sometimes diseased and every fucking where.  
  
• speaking of house party pigeons, I was wearing my Skinny Bitch t-shirt.  The writing on the shirt looks like twigs so I paired it with some skinny Seven jeans (For All Mankind) and some Minnetonka pocahantas boots (tall flat lace up suede boots with a suede fringe at the top.)  This chick comes up to me all drunk, talkinbout "I know right! They all call me skinny bitch at my job, and I'm like FuckYeahIAm!  Right?!?  Them bitches are just jealous they can't look like us!"  Uh, ewwwwww!  First of all, not to be all T-Rexy and shit but fuck it, she wasn't really all that skinny.  Second of all, I think I already said ewwww!  The shirt said Skinny Bitch, not Sloppy Drunk Bitch.
• and since I'm already talking about the party, PYT was there (damn, it took me a minute to remember what I've been calling the damn boy since I haven't been calling the damn boy) and I acted very immaturely.  I ignored his ass all night, that is I tried to.  His boy, who I'm cool with tried to give me shit about it.  PYT was cool for a minute, but thats all he lasted, a minute.  Ok, so maybe it was more like 7...

Dancin for Dollars

I've been kinda worried lately.  Not that I wouldn't find a job, but that my not having a job might make Mommy feel like she has to pick up more of the slack.  I've been sending out resumes, but alot of employers ask what my yearly salary was with XBossMan and then I wouldn't hear from them again.  I met with a couple of placement agency but they were not panning out.  It seems to me that they lure you in with promises of $80,000 plus bonus jobs that never materialize.  Meanwhile they're trying to convince you to interview for jobs that pay a little more than half of that and to lie and say that your last salary was less than it was.  Wouldn't want to discourage the cheapskates now would we?

Then there were the fucking test.  Do you really believe that I've spent the last 7 years working as a personal/executive assistant and I don't know how to use Word or Excel?  It's fucking insulting.  What's even more insulting is that the fucker didn't tell me that you can't use shortcuts during the test, in fact they take off points for using shortcuts, so I got a 90 on a test that I should have gotten 100 on.  Oh, and how about the asshat counselor that wanted me to contact the companies that I worked for 8 and 9 years ago and ask them to confirm the exact dates of my employment.  WHAT THE FUCK?!?!  

So I was trying to avoid any employment agency listings.  But one intrigued me.  And I was half way sold when she got back to me and told me that there was no need for me to do any skill testing.  But she had just had a baby and was not working out of the office, would I be willing to meet with her assistant?  Sure, I've always been intrigued by women with male assistants.  The meeting went well, very well.  But I still kept applying to jobs, cause Mommy didn't raise an idiot.  

In my online travels, I came across a couple of jobs that really interested me.  Two weeks ago, one was practically screaming my name.  I mean sooooo right up my ally with some perks that I could reallllllly enjoy.  So I submit my resume, I think it was a Saturday evening or Sunday morning.  I get up early on Monday to head to Tangers with Cousin T (see post below) and Mommy sticks her head out of her apartment sees me and says, "Oh, I thought you were going on an interview."

About 3 hours after that, I'm standing in the middle of the Nike Factory Store and my cell rings, its the HR department for that amazing job that I applied for.  Would I be able to come in on Thursday for an interview?  3 hours after that, my new placement agent calls my cell and ask if I would be interested in a phone interview for a job at a sturdy company.  I say its a sturdy company because there would definitely be job security and a good salary.  The thing is, I'm not really interested in the industry and I would be the second assistant, answering to the first assistant.  I really dont have a problem answering to someone else, but I do have a problem with most women.  I'm not gonna prevaricate, I usually don't like them and they usually don't like me.  I have never been hired by a woman.  Wait thats a lie, when I was 14 I was hired by a woman.  But job security!  So I said yes to the phone interview.

I wasn't sure how it went, its kinda hard to gauge reactions when you can't see someones face, but I didn't think I tanked it.  But I must be very hard on myself, cause my agent called me a short time later to say that the the HR lady loved me and wanted to know if I could come in the next day to meet in person.  So that's how I ended up with two interviews last Thursday, which was also the day it was 87 degrees here in NYC.  And then yesterday I got called in for a second interview at the job that I found on my own.  So things are looking up, but forgive me if I disappear.  Hopefully it means I'm dancin for dollars!

Tangers Outlet

So two weeks ago was gorgeous weather and last week was Spring Break for NYC Public Schools.  Which meant that Cousin T was off of work. YAY!  That meant from the following Friday til this past Saturday, we were hanging out.  We went to a house part two Friday's ago where we got politely drunk and then not so politely made fun of people.  I got to wear my brand new Skinny Bitch t-shirt.  I love that shirt.  And I think I might have said something about wanting to go to Tangers Outlets in Riverhead NY.  There are Tangers all over the country and the one in Riverhead is probably my favorite outlet center in the tri state area.  So Sunday night T calls me and asks if I want to head out there with her and her Mom on Monday morning.  Two words - HELL YEAH!

Ok, so you might be thinking, Bitch don't have a job, what the hell is she doing shopping?  But to be honest, I really didn't spend that much.  Ok so I really shouldn't have gone into the Coach outlet store.  And maybe I didn't really need those navy blue UGGS.  But they were both sooooo cheap that I couldn't leave them and in the past week I managed to wear both of them twice.  The UGGS are the superlow booties and they have been perfect for this reverse spring weather we're having here in NYC.  Really two weeks ago, in the 70s and 80s.  Last week was in the 70s for most of the week then it hit 87 on Thursday.  This week, rainy and in the 60s if were lucky.  And the Coach bag - do I really need to explain about how I feel about Coach?!  (and it was originally over 300 and I got it for about 150.)  I spent about $12 in Old Navy Outlet ( two tank tops, and a v neck sweater - one of the tanks says Drink Until He's Cute) $26 in the Puma Store (a cute pair of brown and pink linen Roma's) about $20 on outfits for NewBabyGirl (I swear I got about 5 outfits!) and about $15 in the William Sonoma outlet on mixing bowls and a spoonula (like a spatula but you can scoop things!)  I found out that both Cousin T and her Mom are obsessed with kitchen gadgets - which is cool cause I am too.

My favorite things by far, were the things that I didn't pay for.  First, was the time I spent with Cousin T and her Mom.  Despite the fact that she's been married to my cousin for most of my life, and has lived around the corner from me for about 4 years, I really haven't spent that much time with Cousin T's Mom.  We had a great time!  And because I gave Cousin T free cupcakes, she bought me a cupcake carrier from Tupperware.  And its turquoise, which is one of my favorite colors!  I love it!  It inspired me so much that I made chocolate cupcakes with fresh amaretto whipped cream and strawberries.  I actually made a mini bundt cake for Cousin T.  Since Hautechick thought my lemon cupcakes were dry, she only got a mini cupcake (which is like one bite) while the Artist got a a jumbo cupcake with cannoli cream (I was experimenting with Ricotta cheese)

Dance MonkeyGirl Dance!

I think I owe you guys about two weeks worth of stories.  The week before last, the weather was so nice that I spent as much time as possible outside.  I spent alot of time being Mommy's garden bitch.  But I also went to the Spring recitals at MonkeyGirls school.  She goes to a school that has programs for both the performing and graphic arts and I think thats great.  I also think that its great that they do not let the children preform if their grades are not up to par.  What I don't think is cool is that there were soooo many children in the audience last time I was there (poor grades.)  What I don't like is that they teach them how to preform, but they don't teach them anything about public speaking.  You get these amazing dancers and singers who had the opportunity to preform at DisneyWorld , graceful as shit til its time for them to tell you about their trip.  Um, ah, em, ummm.  That shit was working my last nerve.

What I also don't like is that had the performance been last week, instead of the week before, MonkeyGirl would have not been able to perform.  Little chit failed her Social Studies test.  I had brought her a new swimsuit but shes not getting shit til she gets her act together.

Also that week was Spring Break for public school kids in Connecticut so Cousin T's lil Cuz C (LCC) was in town.  She's the same age as Monkeygirl and has to be my second favorite 13 year old girl.  She's got 3 brothers, one older and two younger, and I've always loved her for her girly tomboy ways.  Now that she's thirteen, she's also gorgeous, not that she wasn't beautiful before but its become very apparent that her and MonkeyGirl aren't lil girls anymore.  Makes me feel old as shit and hella protective.

So you can imagine my reaction when some lil shits were sitting behind LCC at the performance and were clearly talking shit.  LCC being 13, decided to sit behind us, rather than with us.  She was steadily ignoring that shit, like a junior Bad Bitch, but I was about to jump outta my skin at those lil hating asses.  Cousin T must have read my mind cause she got up and went and sat with LCC with a well heard, "Let me go sit with LCC before I have to knock out someone's child."

More Post Latah...

This is just a reminder to me cause its too fucking nice outside, I wanna go play.  So the posts I had planned to do will have to wait.  Enjoy my notes until then..

• Me Cousin T and her Mommy going to Tangers Outlet in Riverhead (ask me about my new Coach bag that I didn't need but couldn't resist...)
• MonkeyGirls Dance performance and the little bitches mean mugging on my second favorite 13 year old girl (Cousin C) and why she's one of my favorite 13 year olds
• Women with close male friends (Cousin T & J) 
• the state of my job search and how I just might stop looking for a job and start looking for a sugar daddy
• house party with Cousin T and my new Skinny Bitch T-Shirt - "Is the skinny bitch alright?!"
• adventures in target and other retailers (why the hell do people always want to TALK to me!?!  Damn my cuteness!)
• Introducing BluesMan - the closest thing I have to a stepdad, even if he and Mommy aren't together anymore
• the stupidity of tagless panties aka why I had to buy all new underwear (damn you GapBody!)

So stay tuned for more Troublicious fun!  Oh and I did a guest blogger thing over on the Skivvy but a bitch (*Aaaaahautechickhooooo! ) hasn't paid me, and insulted me so I'm not really promoting that shit.  And I was trying to find a job before I came out there PB, so a bitch wouldn't be broke and semi-depressed!  Texas sounds good though!  Just remember LadyShay, no hugging PB!  (and got I hope you got some sand in your ass for me too ShayShay la Funk)

How I think

PrettyBlack did a post about Things She's Learnt So Far, and it inspired me.  Here's some shit I think

• Compliments are beautiful things.  Everyone loves to be complimented and sometimes a sincere compliment can go a long way.  And there ain't shit wrong with giving yourself a compliment or agree with a compliment that someone has given you.
• You can be cocky and gracious.  When your agreeing to that compliment, make sure you say thank you cause there is no bitch bad enough to be rude all the damn time.
• Respect your elders, but don't take no shit from them either.  I have this one Aunt that will take the last dollar out your pocket if you let her.  It's not that she needs it, by any means.  It's just that she CAN and WILL do it if you let her.  For some reason she's gotten it into her head that it's her right as an elder.  She even did it to me when I was a kid.  Actually she did it to all of the cousins when we were kids.  I'll never forget the time she beat me with a slipper because I called her on it when I was 10...
• Some dude LOVE a psycho chick.  They don't want a broad who acts normal.  If you don't call them 18 times a day, they think you don't really care about them.  If your not willing to give up everything and everyone for them, they don't think your committed.  If you don't scream and yell at them for some dumb insignificant shit that they did (probably to try and get you to act like a psycho), then you couldn't possibly care about them as much as TheNextChick.  
• Conversely, some chicks LOVE a psycho dude.  If he's not insanely jealous, then he must not care.  If he's not cursing you out or putting his hands on you, then how are you supposed to know that he wants to be with you?  If he's not shady as hell and suspect as fuck, then you don't want shit to do with him.  And heaven forbid he have a job instead of a hustle!
• There is nothing wrong with loving animals and eating meat.  NOTHING!  I love Duke, but if you think I'm gonna stop eating red meat or wearing leather, your fucking cracked.  Humans have been living with and eating and wearing animals since the fucking dawn of time.  The problem is in the wastefulness not the consumption.  The Artist's Dad hunts, but he uses just about every part of the deers that he kills.  Ever had deer jerky?  Antler buttons anyone?  He made the Artist the baddest deerskin jacket.  It's very rustic goes metro
• I FULLY believe in the right to bear arms.  I understand that guns aren't for everyone, but if shit goes down...
• Learning computer programming is cool and shit, but I think that more minorities need to learn skilled trades.  I'm talking carpentry, masonry, and other unionized construction trades.  And lest not forget about other hands on skills like culinary arts, gemology, pattern making/garment production and others.  
• I want to be cremated.  Some of you might think it's morbid for a 30 year old to think about things like what they want done with their remains, but tomorrow is not promised.  And the idea of burying my body just does not appeal to me.  AT ALL.  I've discussed this and my other wishes with Mommy and I know what she would like me to do for her.
• If you are old enough to get your nails done regularly (I'm talking to all you teenage girls with tips or eyelash extensions or whatever have you) then you are old enough to maintain yourself ALL around.  I can not STAND to see these young chicks out here sporting blinged out nail tips with earwax dripping out of their ears.  Or young dudes with $200 sneakers on and a fresh fade with same dirty ears and even worse, they apparently have never thought to take a washcloth to the back of their necks.  Come on people, how are you teaching these kids how to half take care of themselves?!  I mean I remember being a teenager and just knowing that some wackadocious outfit I was wearing was the shit.  I was headstrong and didn't listen to shit anyone tried to tell me about style.  I might have looked crazy as hell on several different occasions, but I was always clean.  Couldn't anyone say that I smelled or was dirty.  The same can't be said for a disappointingly large number of youth that I have come across as of late.
• And speaking of children, I will hit someones child if they step bad to me or mine.  Dead ass.  If some little 13 year old girls jumped my god daughter and I was there to witness, please believe that I will be throwing said little as far as I can.  And should said little girls think to swing on me, I will be swinging back with 25 years of fighting dirty behind me. Parents please raise your children with manners and self confidence and the thought that your children might run into me someday.  I'm not gonna try and kill them, but I will put them in their place if they think to jump bad.  (there is a recent real story behind this - don't worry I'll spill and I didn't have to hit anyone's child.)
• Karma is a man stealing, dog killing, best friend turning, food spitting, car scratching, std riddled, yeasty pantied, $2 whore. beware that bitch

The Where I Was...

So last week was ab-so-lute-ly gorgeous in NYC.  I'm talking perfect late spring type weather.  (If you're not from NYC, than that means upper 70s and sunny, slightly cool at night.)  So I spent alot of time out of doors.  I spent about two days giving Duke a shape up.  Of course, a week later and he looks like he could use another trim.  Then I spent an afternoon with Mommy at our local Lowe's Home Improvement.  I found a exotic houseplant whose common name is Lipstick Rasta so of course I had to get it.  Not to mention that its tendrils look like my hair when I put it in curls.  I paid for Mommy's lil Lowe's adventure and she thanked me for her Mother's Day gift. 

For the past couple of years, I haven't remembered when Mother's Day is.  So instead of missing it and being a jerk, I always try and buy Mommy something in early April just to be safe.  As it turns out, thats also the time that Mommy starts to plan out her garden for the summer, so I usually end up getting her plants or garden related items.  Now when ever I buy her any thing of that sort during the month of April, she adds it to the Mother's Day gift list.  She kind of gets over.

So then the next day we spent in the garden together, planting all the shit she got.  I'm not allowed to plant things with out her permission and can only plant things in the places that she designates.  She's a really strict gardener and shamelessly uses me for cheap labor.  On the up side, my ass and thighs are gonna be right for the summer.  All that damned bending, squatting, and lifting is doing a body good!

The whole time, Duke is laying in the grass doing his best impression of an urban lion.  I wish I could say that old age has mellowed him, but every time someone too rowdy got too close to the gate, he would take off like a bat out of hell and scare the crap out of them.  He finally seems to have tuckered himself out, and here comes this little boy from up the block.  I'm hidden behind one of Mommy's ginormous evergreen bushes, and I hear him say to Mommy, "Excuse me miss, where's your dog?"  Mommy points to Duke, splayed out in the grass, and right on cue, he yawns huge at the kid and rolls his eyes.  I love that dog!

And of course after all that time outside, my hair was dirty.   Didn't smell of anything, but I had been sweating and I can't stand nasty dreads.  Since I was at it I put the curls back in.  That shit took forevah, but they look amazing, if I must say so myself.  Then I made lemon cupcakes with raspberry buttercream icing.  I have to admit that I ate most of them myself, but I did give two to Cousin T, Mommy ate probably one less than I did, and I gave one to Hautechick and one to the Artist.  Everyone loved them, except for Hautechick, the asshole.  I'm on the phone talking to her about the Tupperware that Cousin T brought me (its a cupcake carrier!) and she says, "Why would Cousin T buy something for you?  Oh and I meant to tell you your cupcakes were dry."  I said, "What?!" to give the insensitive chit a chance to rephrase and she says, "your cupcakes were dry"  I hung up on her ass and she has the nerve to call me back and then leave a message repeating that she thought my cupcakes were dry, "since you didn't let me finish."

Dogs are barking

• Hello WorldWideWeb, it's me Trouble!
• so I think I mentioned that Superslag wanted me to bake some Red Velvet Cupcakes for her birthday.  I quoted her a price, a cheap price I might add- I gave her a discount on my labor as a gift, and she started hemming and hawing just a little bit but said that she wanted the cupcakes.  Then I don't hear from her for about 4 days and she sends me a text message last Friday, talkinbout -If you made the cupcakes, I'll pay you for them when I can but if you didn't make them yet, can we cut down the number you make?  She originally wanted 2 orders, so I said fine, just let me know when you want them and I'll tell you when I need the money by.  I know her well enough that there was no way in hell I was going to bake the cupcakes without having the money in hand.  So it's Wednesday and I get a call from Teeth (formerly CoHo - Cousin T's other sister - if you need a reminder, she used to have no teeth in her mouth and now she's got these big blindingly white joints and I'm not sure she can close her mouth fully) and she says that she's gonna pay for the cupcakes.  She stops by my house the next day to drop off the money and she says some shit about how SuperSlag was complaining that she wasn't going to have any cake or cupcakes for her birthday so thats when Teeth decided to call me.  Saywhatnow!  That's why I waited, cause she would have had me make the shits and never said a word that she didn't have the money for them.  Teeth tried to throw some shade my way insinuating that I wouldn't be able to make the cupcakes as promised, "Are you SURE you're going to be able to make them?"  I came back with the deadpan, "Why wouldn't I be able to make them?" and that shut her up.  But that brings me to the next bullet in the post...
• So I get up on Friday, and head to the StupidMarket to get ingredients.  This is the second time I'm making them, so I'm pretty confident in my skills and figure I can experiment a little more this time.  I also figure it should be no problem doubling the recipe.  I get home, setting up to start and here comes Mommy.  "So, are you going to do one batch and then set up for the second?"  "No, I was just going to double the recipe and do it all in one shot."  "Oh, well if you THAT confident."  Suddenly I'm not!  I swear, mothers are put on this Earth in part to teach us humility.  I was a little shook, but I continued on with the game plan.  15 minutes later, I had a gorgeous batter and was ready to start cupping.  25 minutes later and I had about half the cupcakes I needed ready to go in to the oven.  25 minutes after that I had the whole order ready and put them in to bake, but I still had a nice amount of batter left.  So I started filling cups and ended up with a nice little snack for the weekend.  After I took all the cupcakes out of the oven I let them cool and ate lunch with Mommy, who stole the first cupcake bite (I found these little mini cupcake cups, which are perfect when you have just a lil batter left.)  After lunch I used my pastry bag to ice them bitches.  They were ready to go at 5.  If I could increase my speed cupping, it wouldn't be so bad.
• now, its like 7, Duke and I are out in the backyard, enjoying the gorgeous spring day and my phone starts singing Chocolate Rain.  It's Teeth, she wants to know where I am.  At home why?  Oh, you didn't finish the cupcakes?  They've been ready since 5, why?  Oh, cause I'm at SuperSlags and I was wondering where you were.  ERRRRRRRRRK!  wait a minute, this bitch told me yesterday that she would stop by my house and help me bring the cupcakes to SuperSlags.  Now, I'm stuck getting damn near 40 cupcakes over to her house.  Granted it's only 4 blocks away, but still.  So I tell her I have to take a shower and I'll be there when I can.  Thank God for Mommy!  Out of the blue, she comes up with this huge plastic platter that will fit all the cupcakes.  She actually got it out of the garage, she was using it for plants.  But she washed it for me and I covered it with tin foil and strolled my ass on down the hill.
• If I was ever serious about selling my cupcakes, all I would have to do is walk around on a nice day with a huge tinfoil covered platter.  It was dark out when I went and I still had about 4 people ask me what was on the platter on my way to SuperSlags. And I think only one of them was hitting on me.
• Cousin T was actually going to come get me when she heard that Teeth left me in the lurch, but I told her not to worry about it.  I hate that she always has to pick up the slack for her sisters so I try not to burden her with the shit the fuck up with.  It helps that I limit my interaction with her sisters.  Plus she had some conditioner in her hair and would have had to come out with a plastic cap on. 
• I get there and everybody is floored by the big platter.  A couple of people also spoke up that I had to walk over there with the platter on my own.  Baba (my cousin, Superslag, Teeth, and Cousin T's dad) is all about the cupcakes.  "Everybody eat so we can have cupcakes!"  And I'm starting to feel nervous cause there are alot more people then there were when MonkeyGirl had her birthday party, and alot of them are very opinionated - to say the least.  And then we're singing and everybody gets a cupcake and it gets kinda quiet then Baba says "I think these are better than last time!"  And I can relax and finally taste one and damn! if I didn't do the damn thing all over again!
• sooooo, remember WackThug, SuperSlag's baby daddy?  wait, thats an understatement, he's the dude that she accused me of sleeping with (her cousin and close friend despite all her bullshit) threatened me over then went on to have a baby by.  well she kicked him out.  Seems her playsister and company caught him out with the next chick and SuperSlag said enough, at least for now.  She kinda made sure that I knew he was gone but I can't say that I'm surprised or that it changes anything between us.  Your chicks before dick, especially when your family.  As if I would ever want to sleep with someone who was sleeping with her.  In my mind that says something about a  dude when he chooses a woman like that, and it ain't something good.  Sure, she's my family, thats why I could overlook alot of her bullshit, but it doesn't mean I was blind to it.  Fuck, I got the closest look at it sometimes...
• and I got the fuck out of there as soon as I could, said I had to go feed Duke, which was true.  SuperSlag asked me if I was coming back after I fed it and I said, "Probably not" and was out with Cousin T and my old buddy Butter (we used to be cool but all I'll say is you can't travel with everybody - that was years ago though)
• my fucking feet are killing me!  I gotta invest in one of those kitchen floor mats that take the strain off of your feet