Tha Mad Rapper
...tell em why u mad son! tell em why u mad!


You'd think I would have learned my lesson by now. I've been working here for 6 and half years and for at least the last 4, my boss and I get into it in the fall. Every fall. Starting from late August until about Thanksgiving, its hell here. But then every January he gives me a nice ass raise and a big bonus and tells me what a great job I do and I end up staying.

So what happened that almost had me quittin? Well it goes a little something like this...
Tuesday I get to work and after a weekend of very very little sleep and around 12:30 I get a call from BossMan. He's decided that he's not going to come in today. And then he asks if I can fax some stuff to the summer house, but hurry he tells me, he's about to leave. This pisses me off cause I know that if the lil momofoko would learn to use the $5000 laptop (I may be exaggerating but not by much) he has, I wouldn't have to fax shit. So I missed one doc, and he's all like, "What's wrong with you?!" and I'm like "chill, I just missed that page when I picked up all the docs from the printer" and sent him that shit. I also gave him his two messages from the morning, one which was from one of our lawyers, who is also a good friend of his. Mr. Lawyer figured that my boss wasn't going to come in and was just calling me to check, "Don't bother him, I'll speak to him later." But I let BossMan know anyway.

So the day goes on and he gets 3 more calls in the 12 hours I'm here (*tic* but that shit sure does feel like 12 hours sometimes) and for each one I ask if they need me to get him on the line, or if it is something that can wait until tomorrow. In every case they say it can wait, and two of them say that they will try his cell phone so don't worry about a message. First of the three messages comes in at 4:20 the last at 6:23, and at 6:30 I'm about to send him an email telling him his messages when he emails me first, "Any messages?" I write back then break the fuck out (actually went out afterwork!) and while I'm chillin drinking my $4 Happy Hour Drink (it was coconut rum, mango juice, mango puree and raspberries- yummy) my blackberry goes off. Its BossMan actin nasty. Why am I holding his messages, he wants them when they come in, don't I know by now? Yeah I know that lil jerko gets bitchy if you start sending him alot of shit. I know that he ignores his email if the message is small. I know that his dumbass didn't call in all fuckin day. And most importantly I know that none of those calls needed immediate attention. I started to write back and say something snarky, but I decided that drunken emails to my boss might not be the smartest thing.

I get in the next morning, and am determined not to argue with this man then he asks me for his messages and starts goin off again! He swears that I didn't give him the message from Mr. Lawyer and I know that I did. Then he says, "Why would I lie?" but the bastard can't even look me in the eye! Why the fuck would I lie?! Then the dickweed says, "All you have to do all day is just sit there and help me when I need it and you can't even do that right!" Oh really!? Look me in the eye and say that shit. Wait, let me get you a chair to stand on lil man. Then he says that he wants me to email him everytime he gets a phone call. Ok! That afternoon he stepped out and he got like 10,000 emails from me. Telemarketers, wrong phone numbers, stoopid questions, they all went to his blackberry. Then I made copies of each email and put them all on one sheet for his convenience. I hand it to him when he's back and he don't say shit. I know he's pissed, cause I'm pissed and I was trying to piss him off!

Today he comes in late and I've got all the emails printed out on one page and now he wants me to email him and HAND FUCKING WRITE EVERY GOT DAMNED MESSAGE! Now lets take a step back shall we? If, like he said, the problem is me not giving him his messages, why am I now forced to give them to him 3 different times? If the problem is me, shouldn't the traceable timestamped emails be enough? And why is it that in the 6 and a half years that I've been here, that lil shit still doesn't understand how a scanner works? (I'm getting to that part)

So then he asks me to scan something in, but lo and behold they had to get that fancy all-in-one shit and sur-fuckin-prise! it's being serviced again. So I see the service people go by my door, and I stand up to go scan and AssHat says, "Can I have that page back?" And I say, "I haven't scanned it yet." and he says, "What the hell are you waiting for?! Why can't you just do shit when I tell you!" and I'll admit I snapped back "The service people just walked by my office, can I actually have at least a minute to do it!? Or is there some other scanner that I don't know about?" And I got called in to his office.

"I didn't know that the scanner and the copier were attached (uh, duh, they are one machine! and if you didn't know that why did you wait for the service people to walk by your office before asking for the page back?) Why are you trying to start an argument with me?" He's got to be kidding! I held my tongue for two days and just stared at his lil screaminstartin an argument?! So I decided I'm going back for my MBA and I aint tellin the lil shit. Or just marry a rich old guy. Or if I really wanted to piss him off I could go work for Trump!