Happy Birthday Mommy!

My Mommy's birthday is on Sunday. Go Mommy, it's your birthday!

When me and my sister were little, she used to play with us all the time, and sometimes she would stop look at us and say, "I'm sorry do I know you?" like she lost her memory. And me and Hautechick would squeal and try and jog her memory as to who we were, "We're your babies! How could you not know us!" She, of course being the Mother of Snark, thought this little trick was hilarious and would crack up. Meanwhile I'd be near tears cause my Mommy didn't know me.

Then there was the time that she got into an argument with the woman that ran her favorite fruit stand. The woman ended up calling my Mommy a bitch and boy did she ever get the look of death! Not even 24 hours later that place burned to the ground. Draw your own conclusion.

But last week, I was laying in her bed, watching her tv, and I look over and see my manicure set sitting on her vanity. The manicure set she asked me to borrow 2 weeks prior. Let's listen in...

Trouble: You know Mommy, you are always getting on me for not returning shit (yes I curse with my Mommy, not at her) and looky here. My manicure set has been sitting in your room for over two weeks...

Mommy: Why did you need it?

Trouble: ...just like the scissors that you asked me to borrow that now live in the garage. And yes, I had a hang nail last week but luck for you, I have another set of cuticle nippers. I wanted to see if you would ever return my stuff, and you didn't. So now you can't use them anymore.

(did I mention I was in her bed, watching her tv?)

Mommy: Oh, bite me you little shit!