The Dishwasher

So I remember what it was that I wanted to say about the dishwasher in my office before I got distracted getting my hate on .

We got the dishes and silverware and I washed it all, then I sent out an email to the office. In it I basically explained that we wouldn't be getting paper plates anymore (what's your carbon footprint?) and that all they had to do if they used something is rinse it off in the sink, and place the used item in the dishwasher. I also informed them that I would run the dishwasher before I left at night, since I'm one of the last ones here. I also figured that this would be best since some people start eating lunch at 12 noon and some people don't eat lunch til 3:30, this way all dishes for the day would be washed. Or so I figured.

I forgot to take into account that people are assholes. Crapcakes the receptionist sometimes brings her lunch in tupperware so she thinks that its cool to start the dishwasher after she finishes eating lunch so that she can bring home clean tupperware. Did I mention that there is also a sink, a sponge, some gloves and Dawn in the pantry? Or that she will run the dishwasher with 4 items in it knowing full well that people have mugs and glasses on their desk. That shit is rude AND lazy. So today, after 2 weeks of putting up with this shit, and politely asking that she not run it in the middle of the day and her funky ass ignoring me (I swear some people don't respond to anything but rudeness) I waited until she finished lunch and calmly walked to the pantry and turned off the dishwasher. It had just started the first rinse and the detergent door didn't open yet so I figured what the fuck. Maybe this will learn her ass.

Then there is our CFO. He's actually the guy that hired me, and he's young rich and gorgeous. He's also a mayyyyyyjah brat. (He's also got a flatulence problem but thats another story) Since I start the dishwasher on my way out of the office, I'm really not surprised when I get to work at 10:30 and find that no one has emptied the summabitch. And I really don't mind since it ensures that I get a clean mug thats no one has put their germ riddled hands on. (I once asked one of the guys to pick up some hand soap for the Pantry and he was all like "why?") And also I've noticed that if I don't empty it people just put their shit in the sink and leave it. And if there are 10,000 things that I don't do, one of them is other peoples dishes.

So the CFO often comes in on the weekends and he started complaining to OfficeManager about 2 weeks ago. "I don't understand why you can't just order paper plates too. I would much rather use paper plates. And besides when I come in on the weekend the dishwasher is full and I'm too much of a bitch to just empty that shit and put my dirty plate in. And I don't want to mess up my manicure by washing a dish!" Ok ok he didn't say that last part, but that was what I got from it. And um, why cant your siddity ass go and pick up some paper plates your self if you want them so bad?


UPDATE: so about a half an hour before Crapcakes was supposed to leave I went and restarted the dishwasher, knowing full well the cycle takes like 2 hours. It was petty I know, I mean if I hadn't started the dishwasher, she could have taken her tupperware home right? Fuck that, bitch gets on my last nerve! So in retaliation she didn't switch the phones over so that I can answer. Which was stupid, cause I hate answering the phones, and its not like I can't just say, "Oh Crapcakes must have forgotten to forward the calls to me!" What a Wankerdoodle