I'm Young I'm Pretty And I Hit Hard
( I think The Greatest of All Time said that, and I've always wanted to...)

I think I might be a florist, cause it seems to me the charge a fucking arm and a leg for some bullshit. Don't get me wrong, I've seen some a-fuckin-mazing floral arrangements but not from this dipshit my company hired to do the front desk. Not only does she bring us the same boring as arrangement every week, long stemmed white calla lilies, but then she blames us for her lack of creativity "Well you guys are so picky so I just keep it simple." Ok well explain to me why you put a succulent in the waiting area and left that shit to die? "Oh, I'll just replace it when its completely dead." Isn't that against the floral code or some shit? Wouldn't it have been easier to water the damn thing and then maybe, just maybe it wouldn't have to be replaced? Oh, and by the way, I've been watering the summabitch and it now lives in my office. And by the by, who the hell told you that you can't water things planted in sand? Ever heard of something called a beach? Asshat!