Bizzy

I think I maybe got about 10 hours of sleep this weekend, so forgive me if I start to not make any sense. It's been one of those weekends that I need about a week to recover from. However, it was also just about the cheapest weekend that I've had since who knows when. Despite being out almost non-stop from Saturday night til Monday evening, I only spent about $65.

So I got the invitation to the bbq that I was slightly dreading. It was sent via text message (half assed invitation if ever there was one) so I don't think they actually expected me to come. And even if I didn't have any thing to do I was planning on staying home in case the King of Crap was there. But I talked to Brownie on Friday night and ended up taking the long ride out to see him. I had a nice time until he informed me that I was going to have to take the train home cause he had to work on Sunday. And he knows that I always change my mind about going out there if I have to take the train home, so I'm thinking it was a set up. Needless to say, thats the last time I drag my ass out there with a a got damned guarantee that he will be driving me home or paying for a cab. By time I got home on Sunday, Whoops!, I missed the bbq. So sad!

I woke up around 8 and was just wondering how grown women go about making new friends when an old friend called. Bizzy and I went to college together for awhile. Different majors but the same minor so we usually had at least one class together. Same age (actually only a couple of weeks apart), and at the time we were both working corporate jobs, so we clicked. Then she met a man, got pregnant, got married, and I'll admit I couldn't relate. So we lost touch til the beginning of this year. We chilled a couple of times, then I invited her to meet me at a house party I was going to with my old crew. I think that's when I first started questioning my friendships. Bizzy is a gorgeous woman, (I'm secure enough with mine to freely admit that) men love her (light skinned with a whole bunch of T&A and she takes care of herself), women generally don't. So the token light skinned chick in the old crew says to me out of no where , "I don't like her, your girl is kinda stuck up." Now mind you these are her (lets call her Gutz - cause her boobs might be a D cup, but her gut is like a GGG) work friends that we are hanging out with. The guys are off in one of the spare bedrooms (they say they were gambling but I say it was suspicious) and the women are all in the living room getting drunk and watching MTV. Bizzy doesn't drink and even though I do, I'm really not a Hennessy, or Jack drinker (which is what they had - I swear I'm gonna start carrying a flask like a old West Indian Man) so B and I ended up crackin jokes in the corner. And when she got a call to go meet up with a dude, I figured only one of us should have to suffer through that mess and told her to get. I then proceeded to claim a comfy chair and fall the fuck asleep. Later on the way home, my cuz T (who gets along with everyone) was like, Bizzy's cool and Gutz starts in. "Your homegirl is a jerk. She thinks she's cute. And what kinda friend just ups and leaves you like that?! She can't hang with us anymore."

And I'm thinkin a variety of things. Like I think I'm cute so how can I fault someone for the same thing. That I drove to the party with Gutz and T so how did Bizzy leave me? That I should punch her in her throat for dragging me to yet another wackadocious event. That if anyone embarrassed me, it was Gutz and her crew of WeTodd coworkers. I mean really, it was like being at a hookie party in high school, except with more down-low suspicions. I swear I never met a stupider bunch of college degree holding folk, and if I told you which City agency they work for I bet you wouldn't be surprised. (I will never forget the time that they were going on and on bout how one of their co-workers took a 7 day cruise from New York to Alaska. Rather than just come out and laugh at their dumb asses, I started asking questions like are you sure it was from New York? Are you sure it was to Alaska and not Nova Scotia? Are you sure it was 7 days? How fast do you think cruise ships go? Did they go through Panama Canal or just hop over Mexico? At the Mexico question they thought I had changed the subject and started talking about going to Cancun for Memorial Day...)

So Bizzy and I went to J'ouvert on Sunday night and the Caribbean Parade (I don't really feel like splainin that shit, basically Brooklyn Carnival) and my legs are killing me. And everywhere we went men hit on Bizzy. We used to chill alot when we were in school so I'm pretty used to it, but I'm a little out of practice. By practice I mean not laughing at all of the dumb shit that dudes say to her. Cause of course when I do I become the jealous friend, which usually just causes me to laugh even harder and sets her to gigglin. Then its, "Why you cock blockin Ma? Youse a hater and just mad cause no body wanna talk to your ugly ass!" And that's when the giggles stop for both of us. Whoa Nigglet, stay in your lane. I mean really dude, I would never claim to be what EVERY man wants physically, but the body is tight, the mind is unparalleled and I have never lacked for male attention. Come on, it's your snaggle toothed ass thats out in the street tryin to pick up women by telling them that you think "That ass is phat!" Why in the world would I want you?!?

Oh and to that dude that went to school with Bizzy, and tried to pick me up - You went to school with her, I know your American. That craptastic Bajan accent was foolin no one! Have you ever even been to Barbados?