Slow Blinks

I swear they are lasting longer and longer as the day goes on. Good thing BossMan decided not to come back to the city today cause I am abso-fucking-loutely no got damned good today. I'd probably be droolin on the keyboard by now if it wasn't for two huge mugs of Tazo Awake Tea (I can't drink coffee, it gives me a stomach ache and I can't sleep for like 2 days after I drink it). But on the other hand, they just opened a Johnny Rockets by my job and that Smokehouse burger and cheese fries I inhaled is givin me a serious case of the drowsies. Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

(sorry I drifted off there for a moment)
So, in a last ditch effort to try and keep my ass awake, I'm going to attempt to recap all the crazy shit I saw this weekend.

(1) Brownie - I find it crazy that I actually carried my ass out there AND took the got damned train home. The only thing that makes it a little better are the funny habits he displayed. Like using the only pillow out of about 20 on his bed thats not flat as a got damned teddy bear. Or his obsession with Coco Butter lotion, I swear I counted 14 bottles in the house and in his car while I was there. Oh, and according to him the Great Wang Embargo of 07 lasted 8 weeks.

(2)Cops in Action -Last year at J'ouvert, NYPD discovered 17 illegal handguns (which isn't really that many when you consider that there are easily thousands of people out on the streets of Brooklyn that night) so this year they were a little, shall we say overzealous? I saw the cops call a kid over to a cop car and search the kid for weapons through the fucking window! I saw the cops pull over a car full of young men, make them all get out, search everybody and the car. But they aren't all bad. Shout out to Q who was looking yummy in his uniform and his cool ass partner. And to Danae cause she's a copper too! Oh and to that big strapping bald headed white cop with the creeping tattoo on his arm that I may have drooled on. Was it good for you too?

(3) So many asses and boobs that either needed to be contained, restrained, or both. And enough muffin top to feed the yearning masses.

(4) A sign that said "Please Do Not Pee Here! This is Not A Toilet and You'll Kill My Flowers!" on a house right off of the parade route. Surprisingly no one peed on it.

(5) Every got damned flag and variation of a flag for the entire Caribbean and beyond. And um, when did there get to be so many Haitians? I'm not complaining or nuttin, but damn there were a lot out on the parkway

(6) Two white dudes getting props from about 30 Jamaican dudes (all in yellow, green, and black) for their outfits (Bermuda shorts. black lace up shoes, white socks, white button down shirts, union jack ties and union jack hats)

(7) Stoned aging white hippies groovin to the Soca Riddims

(8) Women who have obviously never been to the Labor Day Parade on Eastern Parkway, wearing all kind of stilettos and platforms, and other shit that I know they are regretting wearing today. I had on sneakers and my feet still kinda hurt/burn!

(9) People selling all type of illegal shit, from grass to ass, not even 10 feet away from the cops.