Gettin Too Old For This

You know how that recent study that they did on obesity said that if your friends are overweight, you are more likely to be overweight as well? Well I think it was Les Brown (I was half asleep when I heard this but it stuck in my head) who adapted that saying to include intelligence. If you hang around with stupid people...

I'm tired of being stupid! I'm at the point in my life where I just don't have the patience or the energy to deal with the people that I have called friends. Which is probably the reason that my sister in one of the few people that know about my blog. I can feel the life draining out of me and I have for years, but things always stop me from cutting them off. Mostly the insecurity, which is stupid. I mean I wonder if they'll talk shit about me once I stop hanging out with them but am fully aware that they talk shit about me now.

I don't have multiple kids by multiple men, I've never been arrested or ever had to call the cops on anyone, I don't have chicks calling me telling me to stay away from their man, so how come I'm the whore? What's the got damned obsession with who I'm fucking and how many? Its been a ongoing bet between them to see who can get me to give a specific number for how many men I've been with. They think I don't know but there is always someone in the crew who is willing to sell the rest out, in this case it was my cousin T. ( I actually looooove T, she's one of my favorite people and actually not blood related - she's the stepsister to my 2nd cousins. It's her effing sisters I can't stand) Which is another thing I hate, we're supposed to be cool yet everyone has their secrets (my only one being how many dudes I've slept with - which I honestly don't know.) I've never hid the fact that I don't like some of the people that hang out with my core group (which is about to be my cut group) and I don't pretend to be cool with people when I'm not.

A little while ago it all came to a head. Up until then I used to hang alot with T's sister A. Growing up, her and Hautey were really close but then she got pregnant around my senior year in high school and somehow, A and I got closer. She even named me god mother to her daughter. And eventually we started hitting clubs together. She was living with a dude at that point but he and I were really cool (how can you not love a guy who is raising someone elses kid as their own?) so he used to not mind when we would go clubbing together. I was a true wingman, down for whatever and I always had her back. Even after she got married and was cheating with the dude from her job. So years pass and she gets divorced and her two kids are living with her ex (worthless slag) and she starts seeing this Trapper. She'd do dumb shit for him like feed her kids Pappa Johns, and cook him a steak. Didn't do shit for her daughters birthday but threw this worthless momofoko a party. I would question her on it, but it was always some excuse, the kids don't like steak, Pookie didn't want a party, blah, blah, blah. And I used to laugh with him about all the dumb shit he would have her doing.

Now maybe that was wrong, but its who I am. I'm vocal, she's known me all my life and didn't know? I think not. She wanted me to be friends with him, cause lord knows nobody else liked him (plus we had a little bidness together), but then he's spending a little too much time with me (or at least he was saying he was with me). Then there was the night that I was supposed to pick something up from him and he offered me a ride home. Of course on the way to my house, we drive right past my cousin, and I'm thinking, she's going flip and get the wrong idea. But I'm an open bitch so I roll down the window call her name and then get in the back seat so that she can ride in the front. He's looking at me like, "Why the fuck did you do that?" And she's looking at me like she don't know who the fuck I am. A couple of weeks pass, then she tells me that they broke up, and the cell phone that she got for him is off, and I owe (*ahem) him some money. Do I want her to keep the money for him? Uh, no, he knows where I live, if he wants it, he can find me. So then, him and I are hanging out again, cause like I said he knows where I live (I might point out that the first time she sent him to my house it was cuase she had another dude on the way to hers.) And then he starts trying to show me things in the bushes if you know what I mean. ("I gotta huge scar on my ass, I gotta take my pants off to show you, Wanna See?" "Uh, no thanks!" then I sat there with my eyes closed for like 10 minutes cause he was still tryin to show me his stuff! Childish on both our parts.)

So then it's his birthday and he stops by to see me and I admit I thought, "What the hell is he doing here with me on his birthday?" And he's telling me about how A wants to get back with him, and how she's been telling him that I'm a whore (which I think she might have cause why else would he think I would go for the whole "I'll flash my dick and she won't be able to resist"? So I'm like, fuck it! I'll be the first one to admit that I get mad and I start saying shit. Not lies, only truth, but you know what they say about the truth.

So he leaves my house at like 2 in the morning cause we've been drinking and shit BUT NOTHING HAPPENED! (come on- do you really think I'd throw the cooter at some lameo dude that was sleeping with my whorish cousin?) and at like 4 my cell phone rings, flashing his number. I pick up and say "What the fuck are you doing up this got-damned early?!" And hang the fuck up. The phone rings again, his number, and I'm like "What?!" "Trouble, I'm going to fuck you up!" Can I get a WTF and a Holy Hell?

Bitch I have known you all my life, do you really think I wouldn't recognize your voice? And another thing, one of his random chippies would not know my name cause that's not what was stored in his phone (and besides I have a kinda tricky real name so people always mispronounce it.) So why did this bitch act like nothing happened the next time I saw her. And when others in the crew asked me what was wrong, I tattle tailed like a mother fucker! And everyone is all That's Fucked Up and Why Would You Want to Sleep With Him, and She's Been Actin Real Crazy Lately and my favorites We Should Do An Intervention and Do You Think He Got Her Strung Out on Drugs?

But she didn't get shunned, I did. But I guess its for the best. She can keep the crappy two faced friends. She can keep the pathetic loser of a man. I can do bad all by my lonesome...