Craigslist

So there was the time that I saw the job as a porn fluffer (you know the people that make sure the guys are ready for their close-ups). And then there was the whole Puffy (I don't care, that dude will always be Puffy to me) looking for an assistant ad - he put it on craigslist waaaay before it was on myspace. And I always get a kick out of the suits looking for someone to 420 with in midtown. But I've got to say that this tops up there as one of my favorite Craigslist posting of all time. (Said in my best DMC voice) And it goes a little something like this...

To my Ex-GF's Cat

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Date: 2007-05-17, 11:26PM PDT


I don't miss her, but I miss you. You are the only cat I ever liked...and I think you liked me as I'm the only person you let pick up and walk around with. Sure, you were crabby, sounded like a rusty can when you were meowing, would ignore the laser pointer and got pissed at me when I needed to work and not pet you. Oh sure, you'd complain and make me feel bad for feeding you the same thing and at the same time as her other 2 cats, but did you notice I'd always slip you a piece of meat from my dinner plate? I know you were old and stairs were not as easy as they used to be, so I was always secretly glad and flattered to hear your voice by the bedroom door when I'd stay over. I know her kids liked the other animals in the house more then you, and I'm sorry, but I liked you better then her kids anyway. And yes, I know you watched me walk away that last time I left; I knew I wouldn't be coming back so I hope you found that catnip mouse I left in your secret hiding spot...you deserved 1 last rush in your old age.

I'm not sure if you are even still alive as I haven't been by the house since March of 05, but I hope that you are happy, warm and still catching the beam of sunlight in your favorite spot.

Anyway, just wanted you to know that you were the only cool cat I've ever known and that I miss you.

• Location: Seattle

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/333295779.html