1.22.2008

The Bald Pussy

I'm not speaking in code, or calling anybody a name, I'm really gonna do a post about bald pussies and why I'm not a fan.  Not that I'm a fan of pussy or anything, strictly dickly thank you!  
But it seems to be the "in" thing for women to do.  I think it was Eva Longoria who said something about how a brazilian wax makes her feel sexy.  Uh, what the fuck is so sexy about having a pussy that looks like it belongs on a 5 year old girl?!  Before puberty hit, I couldn't wait til I had some hair down there cause I figured that meant that I was grown.  Now you want me to rip my badge of womanhood out by the roots!?!  Are you fucking kidding me?  Don't get me wrong, I don't condone a wild bush.  When I was at the Levian Cult Camp, I had this counselor whose bush used to stick out the sides of her bathing suit.  All puffy and shit, and I used to think, why doesn't she cut that shit down.  I'm all for trimming and maintaining.  But why the fuck do I have to be bald?

Last March I was on my way to Cancun for a week so I went for a wax.  I usually shave because you can do it whenever but in the winter my skin gets really sensitive so I figured that the wax would last me longer with less irritation.  I didn't ask for a brazilian, yet chick was gonna take everything off.  "What are you doing?!?  Not bald, shit, I'm a grown woman and would like all my parts to look like it thank you!"  "You dont want clean?"  "yes clean, no bald - leave me a strip at least!"

Why do people assume that hairless is cleaner? Its actually not. The hair is there to prevent things from getting into the cooch.  Its a defense, and I'm all about the defense!  So you take off all the hair and all those little things that might have gotten stuck in your pubes are now in your cooch!  Gross yet true.  (Ladies please properly clean your cooches, thank you!)

Bald pussy also makes me think of changing diapers.  Which makes me think of shit, which is definitely not sexy.  

I've heard guys say shit like, "I'm not going down on a woman unless she's bald down there."  Meanwhile they have no problem trying to stick their hairy balls down a woman throat.  Reciprocity momo!  I'm not asking you to shave your base and balls for me.  Shit, a little pubic hair in the mouth never killed anyone as far as I know.

So in conclusion I say, ladies, keep your hair, but keep it neat.  And to the fellas I say, do you really wanna look at a pussy that could belong to a 5 year old girl?! (if you do you need to seek some serious help)

13 comments:

af said...

i was ger do a post about this over @ typhos, buh i was like naw.... there are some prudes over there.

we're on the same page trub, bald is disgusting!! it looks like u hav diseases and shih from the irritation and bumps. plus it's not smart to hav secs for a few days after the wax b/c ur raw, irritated, and ur folicals are exposed

i shaved down there once, and let me jus say when it came bak in, it was painful as a mother! i mean even wearing undies was an irritant.

i personally don't shave or trim, buh i might in the future.

women can always consider the "nazi triangle patch", a strip, or some designs** or something haha

**u remember when dudes used to get nike signs and shih in their hair? well why can't women do that w/ their coosies, i say eus good fi di goose...aww u know the rest

NaimaEfuru said...

women do do that Jamie!

PrettyBlack said...

You are so on point...now a bitch like me will shave some designs in mine (hubby bought me a t-liner get one that mutha is the shit)

But bald? Fuck no can you imagine the itch when that shit tries to grow back? Hubby says you can shave it down but not off...that shit just ain't right. I agree.

af said...

i say hav fun w/ it, as long as it doesnt turn out like one of kelis' hairdos or keyshia cole's comb over, blonde, short do haha

is it even possible to add extensions to ur...ohh nvm haha

NaimaEfuru said...

LMAO@ cooter weaves!

af said...

trubs i honestly wudent be suprised by that shih! i mean they put airplanes, pyramids, neon lites, etc in people's hair @ hairshows. if they do all that they cant jus be leaving their bacon strips solid blk haha!

Anonymous said...

Thank you, Trubs!!!!!! Thank you thank you thank you. There is nothing hot about looking like a little girl down there.

Who's a prude, Jamie!? Don't make me come over there!

And they totally have chest hair wigs, so why not? Don't ask me why I know that becuase I'm not sure why

Amazon said...

Yeah I keep it neat, and I want to try a wax, but don't know if I will ever grow the balls to do it. When I was dating Rhino I left his first initial and everything else was bare., how wack!

jentheobscure said...

I agree, trouble.

Afro, I'm a prude, I would have read it though, I just would have refrained from commenting. :-P

Anonymous said...

I'd have commented days ago if I could have remebered the word I wanted to tell you all about.
Ok the word is Merkin. A merkin is an artificial hairpiece for the pubic area (according to the Macquarie Dictionary).
Apparently it was made of actual hair and commonly used in the 17th and 18th centuries by people who had been treated with arsenic for syphilis (their hair fell out when they were treated).

NaimaEfuru said...

GET OUT JODERS!!!! a merkin?!?

Anonymous said...

I kid you not!

I wouldn't dare joke about something as hilarious, ridiculous and bizarre as this!

Anonymous said...

Meh. I'm sure that there were people in 1920 who were saying the same things about bald armpits or bald legs.