I forgot some people

From my neighborhood that is.

CFO - this is the guy that hired me. We have a very strange relationship, in that sometimes I want to jump his bones and ride him til we both pass out and other times he gets on my last damned nerve and I can't believe I even thought about putting it on him. My first impression when I met him at my interview was, "Whoa momma! Keep Trouble in control. Whatever you do DO NOT let Leggs out to play! REMAIN PROFESSIONAL!" and I did even though he's is sooooo much fun to look at. But, he's a spoiled brat. Being one myself, it was quite easy to spot. He's a bit messy, again something that I recognize from being a bit messy myself (though I AM NOT messy at the office.) And he farts. In the privacy of his office, but for some reason I always end up having to go into his office right after he does it. Speaking of coincidences, at least once a year we run into each other. He'll be coming around a corner from one direction, me from the other, than BAM! Full body contact that sends a deliciously naughty zing through my system. I swear if I was half a shade lighter I'd blush every time. Last week I was sitting in my office, being slightly goofy as usual. CFO is having a meeting in the conference room thats right across from my office. I look up and he's staring at me gives me a saucy little wink and goes back to his meeting. The man drives me crazy...

CAL - Crazy Asian Lady. She's crazy, a lady (I use the term loosely) and Asian. She's also one of our accountants and very strange. I know she makes nice money, but for some reason she always steals the left over sandwiches that we have from meetings. I'm not talking about taking home whats left after everyone has eaten. I mean homegirl stalks the pantry and the conference room until she is sure that all the participants of the meeting have eaten, then swoops in and takes all the good sandwiches, wraps them up and sticks them in her bag before anyone else in the office can score free lunch. It's gotten so bad, that we post a look out to make sure that we all can eat. She's also the person that will see a dessert tray and take a bite out of every single morsel on the platter just so she can try it. Ooooo or my favorite is when she smells everything. But the greatest thing about CAL is her leopard print leggings and fake fur cardigan sweater. It was one of her favorite Friday outfits until about 3 months ago when in a fit of sophmoric fun, we all growled at her all day. I have never in my life seen a pair of leggings that were so stretched in the front, over her pot belly, and baggy in the back cause of her lack of booty. And the poor teddy bear that gave his life for that sweater. CAl has a penchant for cheap looking hooker shoes, platforms and big chuncky-funky heels, with GoodWill grandma suits. I mean the suits that your grandma gave away cause the lining has been repaired one too many times and it hangs a little funny. CAL is also a bitch on wheels when she wants to be, which makes her a great accountant ("What are you talking about?! We pay you over a million dollars a year and you're giving me a hard time over a $2500 bill being late! Get over yourself, you'll get the money!" all said with her somewhat thick Chinese accent) but a pain in the ass to deal with around the office. During that lunch from hell two Friday's ago she stole Giraffe's order and he let her rather than deal with her mouth. Me however made it a point to go to her office and let her know that that wasn't her food and to let her know that the only reason she pulled that shit was cause me and OfficeManager weren't there.

Persian Cutie - le sigh, alas he is gone. Persian Cutie used to work with me but took a job back home on the left coast. We worked together for about 3 or 4 years, I can't remember. He's actually Persian Royalty's cousin (more on him later) and adorable. I know guys don't like to hear woman say that about them, but he is. I think its the dimples, they make him look kinda innocent and young. I think he's 33 though. He was one of those people that you don't realize you're going to miss until they tell you that they are about to leave. We've kept in touch since he left via email and he was actually at the office two Friday's ago (part of the reason we did the whole office lunch thing.)

Persian Royalty - He was the first non related person to be hired at the company after me. Before me, the 5 people that worked there all knew each other in some way or fashion outside of the office. So I kind of latched on to him. Outsider solidarity and all that. He got married last summer to a beautiful Persian woman, and they just found out that they are having a boy. They are so gorgeous and shiny with love that I call them Persian Royalty and I wish them all the best. Even if her brother calls the office and tries to trick me into thinking that he's her with a cold...

BossManLite - That's my bosses business partner. He has his own company, which shares the floor with our offices, but him and BossMan do most of their deals together. They are good friends outside of work, but where BossMan is intense and yells alot, BossManLite is very chill and I've yet to hear him raise his voice, even when he is uspet. I always feel bad for BossManLite because he sometimes gets lost in BossMan's shadow, though I've been told he prefers the background. He's got the most wonderful hybrid accent and always smells wonderfully, like fresh clean laundry. People often forget to tell BossManLite about meetings and no one likes his assitant the Albino so I usually earn points with him for keeping him abreast of the meetings and shit. He gets slightly ruffled when the don't tell him about meetings and he arrives late. Quite rude!

The Albino - that's BossManLite's assistant, kinda like bizarro me I guess. Thinking about her that way gives me the willies, eeesch! The people in the office like to make jokes about what time I come in everyday, but at least I'm willing to stay when BossMan needs me. This chick here leaves everyday at exactly 4 pm (by which I mean she's waiting for the elevator at exactly 4 pm) and does not work on Friday's. I call her the Albino cause she had them remove all of the lights from her office. All of them. Its like a little cave or some shit, she works by the light of the computer. And she's a pain in the ass. She's one of those women who thinks every man is looking at her "funny" She told OfficeManager that we need to keep the door to the women's room locked because Hottie was looking at her "funny." He was probably looking at her like he wanted to choke her out. She also got my dude Ali the security guard in trouble cause he let a guy up to our floor to deliver my lunch one time. Said she saw the delivery guy in the hall and he was menacing. Yeah meancing all right, all 4 feet 5 inches of him. Dude was practically a midget, oh my bad, a little person.