Things I Hate...

Now some of these things I wish I didn't hate but alas...

(1) Boy Shorts - beginning of the day, they are the most comfortable thing in the world, but by the end of the day I'm seriously considering throwing them in the trash and going home commando. That front wedgie action on top of the regular wedgie is more than my sanity can bear!

(2) Peep Toe Heels - ok these might be a little worse than the Boy Shorts, because almost immediately I feel like someone is trying to amputate my big toe. And lets not talk about my pinky toe that always feels like its dying of heat stroke because it doesn't have access to the peep. Worse part of it is I think they are incredibly sexy! (A white fitted button down, a black pencil skirt, and a pair of leopard print peep toes is my "I wanna feel sexy and get complimented" outfit. Yes, I do own some of them, but I always bring sneakers of flip flops with me) And this weekend I was in DSW and came across a pair of Pony Hair Leopard Print Platform Peep Toe Pumps - I know that sounds like alot but they were so gorgeous, and they HURT LIKE HELL! One minute on a carpeted floor and I was almost crying.

(3) Victoria's Secret - I used to not hate them, but sometime during the early 2000's (that sounds funny doesn't it?) their bras stopped fitting me. Now I will admit, I'm only a 32B on a swollen day, but the salespeople somehow always make me feel like a flat chested little boy! Once I broke the embargo against buying bras from their snooty sales people only to have to return the thing because it didn't fit. I swear at least 5 people made me explain in detail that the bra was too big (as if I was not embarrassed enough after the first 3, by 4 and 5 there was a crowd! One simpering idiot had the nerve to ask me "Are you sure it's too big?") then they wanted to know if I wanted to exchange it, Shit nah, I just wanted out of that hell hole. (I do however luv the PINK sweatpants and pj bottoms)

(4) The snotty African girl at the MAC counter in Bloomingdales - I stopped buying MAC from Bloomies about 2 years ago because of this heifer, so I don't even know if she is still there. You ask her a question and she says dumb shit like "Ok, if you want too" while looking at you like your stupid. Or my favorite, she'll be standing there speaking French to the little Creole chick while 18 people are waiting for help then say "Well I didn't see you." All the while the nice white girl is helping like 9 people. I was so glad to see a truly brown girl at the MAC counter, but she is the most pretentious lazy bitch I have met in a long time. I even went so far as to call the manager and complain after she rolled her eyes at me. This was after standing by the mascara for 5 minutes, then going to the cash register to get some help and she's going to say to me "You're only supposed to be waiting here if you are ready to pay." Meanwhile all the help (except for that nice white girl) is standing behind the register. Now don't get me wrong, are some helpful people there besides the white girl. There used to be a great Curvy Light-skinned girl, a very helpful and funny gay guy, and an older browner woman that were always helpful and friendly. Lord only knows, what happened to them

(5) Settling Down - I don't want to settle and I don't think anyone should. When/If I get married, I want to feel like the luckiest woman in the world. I want to be able to wonder, what did I do to deserve someone so great. Fuck a settle, I want better!

(6) Friends With Benefits - So you want someone you can chill with who also puts out? ISN'T THAT CALLED A GIRLFRIEND?!? I swear if you are old enough to be fucking, your old enough to be honest about what you want. You just want ass? Good, so do I. Let's not beat around the bush. And don't get mad if I only call your ass for the D.I., remember you are not my man!

(7) Punk ass men who tell me that I am not the man in this relationship - well momofoko one of us has to be! (and who said it was a relationship, I think I told you before that I just wanted some ass!) And it's not even that I want to be the man, but if we are not equal (and that fact that you are always at my place and we never go to yours means we are not equal)then someone has to be in charge and I vote for me.