Poopie Runs New York

aka A Woman's Look at Def Jam Fight for NY: The Takeover

Yeah, that was me on the C train. The woman in the J Brand Doll jeans, with the over-sized sunglasses and that fabulous Coach bag, getting completely carried away playing my PSP. For some things, I am completely and utterly childish. Candy being one (I will make a special trip just to get Jelly Belly Sour Jelly Beans or Morinaga Hi-Chews), cartoons being another (I sooo want to get the Thundercats Complete Seasons 1 & 2 on dvd) and fighting video games being the third.

Mortal Kombat kinda sucked to me, Street Fighter Alpha Max was cool, but where else can you watch Kimora kick Lil' Kim's ass? Or buy bling from Jacob? And it's strange because I usually can't stand role playing games, and I had only planned on using the Battle Mode of the game, but I was almost instantly hooked.

The first fighter that I created kept getting his ass kicked, and wasn't getting any respect even in his own hood, so I made him Better, Harder, Faster, and Stronger (Daft Punk rocks!) and Poopie was born! (everytime I think or type Poopie, it makes me giggle) He kicked ass, had Kimora and Lil' Kim fighting over him, it was great for the most part. But I do have a couple of complaints.

Mainly the shopping choices. I mean what woman doesn't want to play dress us with a man? But you only are able to purchase certain things once you've passed certain obstacles. Like you can't buy suit pants until your the boss of your crew. (How bout a little Oswald Boatang -you know that black British dude with the tailored suits) But in my opinion every man needs a suit, even if its only for funerals and court appearances. And since when are sweats considered pants?! And I was so looking forward to buying Poopie a rose gold rope chain, but guess what, one of the jewelery staples of the hip hop industry is not an option. And since I'm being ridiculous, how about some colored diamonds.

And I'm the boss of my crew but I'm still taking (and getting jumped on) the train!? Uh, at least let me pick up a lemon from Major World if I cant get a Bentley Coupe.

You can definitely tell who the head of Def Jam is, not only by his absence, but by the fact that Mephis Bleek is one of the strongest fighters in the game! (I definitely think he's a cutie, but I'm partial to short dudes and if I'm not mistaken he's only like 5'8"- still no way he coulda almost kicked Poopie's ass) And oddly enough Flava Flav was kindof tough to beat too. But the worse part of the game, the fact that my downfall came at the hands of a woman! I tried to avoid her, but the game drags you into fighting on her behalf and as far as I can tell, I didn't even get any ass out of the deal!