Some Shit

No, no more poop tales.

• from time to time, Hautechick and I will end up in hysterical laughter when talking to one another on the phone.  Most recently, she said something about how I always got along with the Artist and that I need to find her a brother in law that she gets along with too.  That lead me to saying that, no, actually I didn't always get along with the Artist, he used to get on my last nerve.  It was Hautechicks fault, she used to tell him all of these embarrassing stories about me, usually things that I did as a child, and he would tease me.   I hated it.  So Hautechick asked me what happened that got him to stop teasing me.  And for a second I couldn't remember.  Then it hit me, it was the time I was hanging out with the two of them (Hautechick, Mommy, and I all still lived together then) and we were inebriated, to say the least, and the Artist went upstairs to use the bathroom and passed out.  He hit the floor so hard that we heard it downstairs.  My mom ended up calling Hautey to come check on him and she found him on the floor with his pants (and underwear) around his ankles.  Just typing about it makes me incredibly giggly.  
• So I think it was yesterday that I got this email announcing $8 fares on a certain airline.  Then today on the news I hear that same airline has been under investigation by the FAA for flying planes that have not been inspected.  
• My god daughter, Monkey Girl, had another recital tonight.  I love that child but can I just say shit, damn, motherfucking 3 hour program, including a got damned dance piece that I saw last time, a whole bunch of teachers on stage so called modeling, and Monkey Girl was only in the last 5 minutes of the damned thing!  I swear...
• Speaking of the recital, I heard about it from Monkey Girl's step family, Step Grandma called me and asked me to get her a leotard and for my help in finding a dress for a formal event coming up in April.  But thats not the point.  The point is, I walk in start looking around for familiar faces and who should wave and quietly call my name, SuperSlag.  Don't choke someone out one time and they think yall cool again.  Buuuut, she had the baby with her and oh does she know how I am a sucker for baby girls.  Actually, its the clothes shopping that I love.  I swear Monkey Girl was dressed to the nines when she was a wee one, and the new one reminds me alot of her.  She's so tiny.  So I sat, behind not next to her, I still don't trust her with my back.  Her and WackThug (baby daddy) actually drove me home.  
• Cousin T's Mom is in the hospital, I'm gonna send her some flowers tomorrow.  She's in my thoughts...
• I had a discussion with Mommy about me moving out of state.  But that lasted just until she told me that I couldn't take Duke with me.  Any time something needs to be cleaned because of him, he's my dog, which is 98% of the time.  Of course he would become her dog on this issue.
• This is kinda wussy but, I can't leave Duke.  He's getting old, I dont know how much time I have left with him, and I'd really be mad at myself if I missed out on it
• My mom has one of those KitchenAid Stand Mixers (how gorgeous is this dark purple one?) my dad brought it for her as a gift.  That means its really old (if you haven't been following along, my dad died when I was 8) and kind of precious to her.  That mixer has made plenty of delectable treats so I've always loved it, but I've also always shied away from using it.  That has soooo changed.  One of my favorite things to make is pizza with homemade dough.  That mixer cut my prep time down by so much and made everything sooo easy.  I've fallen in love with it.  I usually only make pizza about 4 times a year, cause the dough is such a bitch to make.  I made it twice in the last two weeks.  The one with wine soaked mushrooms was reallllly gewd.
• Someone set off a small explosive at the Military Recruiting Station in Times Square early this morning.  Its the third incident in which a man on a bike has set off a small explosive device in the early hours of the morning in NYC  since 1998 (I think it was 98)  No one was hurt.
• I made a bouquet of balloon tulips for Monkey Girl...