Da Biznass

Since Afro likes my random post I've been talking about sex a lot recently, I decided to combine the two...

• You know Lady Shay, I've turned down a tongue lashing on more than one occasion.  For one thing, I had a very strange relationship some years ago where the sexual aspect of it mainly consisted of him going down on me while he jacked off into a pair of my panties.  I shit you not.  Not that his head games wasn't incredibly tight, but it kind of left a sour taste in my mouth for lick with no stick.  Then there was the dude that, shit I don't know what the fuck he was doing but it wasn't nothing nice.  And don't forget about the dudes that say "Oh I just want to taste it, nothing else" when they know full well that ain't all they want. 
• Speaking of that rather strange relationship of my youth (there is so much shit there I could do multiple posts on Chef and me) he first explained his sexual restrictions on my age (I was 16 he was 19) then on the fact that he was sort of in a relationship with a chick who was away at college in Florida, but the real reason was that his dick was about 3 inches long...
• Thats not to say that some men don't know how to work 3 inches.  Ok, so I've never had a fabulous lover with a 3 inch winky, but I'm sure that there are some out there.  Somewhere.  I've also known some men with 10 inches of thunder who don't know how to bring the rain.  The thought of bad sex with a big dude makes me cringe a little more than the thought of bad sex with a little dude.
• Did you know that some bodegas in the hood sell counterfeit Magnums?  I'm sure that some people don't even notice that they aren't as large as the real ones.  And the latex is different.  What the fuck is the world coming to when big dicked men in the hood (and the women that luv them) have to worry that Jose at the corner store is trying to dick them on the condoms.
• It's really not fair, if someone is tickleish and the other person isn't, the one who isn't should not be allowed to tickle the one who is.  Specially if there is a danger of said person peeing themselves.
• I couldn't laugh, at least not in his face, but PYT busted his lovely tight ass in the snow last night.  All I could do was say, "Oooo damn!  That looked like it hurt sweetie!  Are you alright?" then duck the snowball that headed my way.
• Fucking snow!  I love to look at it, maybe ski on it, but gotdamn if I dont hate to have to shovel that shit!
• In the recent past, I had a man tell me that I made him feel self conscious about being naked.  Needless to say that was the wrong dude for me.  First off,  I'm either in as little clothes as possible, or as many clothes as possible, depending on the weather.  If I'm in some coochie cutters and wife beater, I sure as hell don't want my dude to be in a turtleneck sweater and corduroys.  Secondly, I love to be naked.  It's fucking natural.  I'm not a flasher nor do I dress obscenely in public, but in the privacy of my own home, hell the fuck yeah I'm gonna walk around bare ass.   And lastly, I'm not the chick you want if you need a woman who is going to boost your ego.  I give compliments where they are due, not when they're asked for. 
• Speaking of compliments, twice in my life have I reached into a man's pants and said, "Wow that is really quite large" (or something like that) and the dude was kinda surprised at the compliment.  I think I mentioned that I don't give compliments unless they are due