Dancin for Dollars

I've been kinda worried lately.  Not that I wouldn't find a job, but that my not having a job might make Mommy feel like she has to pick up more of the slack.  I've been sending out resumes, but alot of employers ask what my yearly salary was with XBossMan and then I wouldn't hear from them again.  I met with a couple of placement agency but they were not panning out.  It seems to me that they lure you in with promises of $80,000 plus bonus jobs that never materialize.  Meanwhile they're trying to convince you to interview for jobs that pay a little more than half of that and to lie and say that your last salary was less than it was.  Wouldn't want to discourage the cheapskates now would we?

Then there were the fucking test.  Do you really believe that I've spent the last 7 years working as a personal/executive assistant and I don't know how to use Word or Excel?  It's fucking insulting.  What's even more insulting is that the fucker didn't tell me that you can't use shortcuts during the test, in fact they take off points for using shortcuts, so I got a 90 on a test that I should have gotten 100 on.  Oh, and how about the asshat counselor that wanted me to contact the companies that I worked for 8 and 9 years ago and ask them to confirm the exact dates of my employment.  WHAT THE FUCK?!?!  

So I was trying to avoid any employment agency listings.  But one intrigued me.  And I was half way sold when she got back to me and told me that there was no need for me to do any skill testing.  But she had just had a baby and was not working out of the office, would I be willing to meet with her assistant?  Sure, I've always been intrigued by women with male assistants.  The meeting went well, very well.  But I still kept applying to jobs, cause Mommy didn't raise an idiot.  

In my online travels, I came across a couple of jobs that really interested me.  Two weeks ago, one was practically screaming my name.  I mean sooooo right up my ally with some perks that I could reallllllly enjoy.  So I submit my resume, I think it was a Saturday evening or Sunday morning.  I get up early on Monday to head to Tangers with Cousin T (see post below) and Mommy sticks her head out of her apartment sees me and says, "Oh, I thought you were going on an interview."

About 3 hours after that, I'm standing in the middle of the Nike Factory Store and my cell rings, its the HR department for that amazing job that I applied for.  Would I be able to come in on Thursday for an interview?  3 hours after that, my new placement agent calls my cell and ask if I would be interested in a phone interview for a job at a sturdy company.  I say its a sturdy company because there would definitely be job security and a good salary.  The thing is, I'm not really interested in the industry and I would be the second assistant, answering to the first assistant.  I really dont have a problem answering to someone else, but I do have a problem with most women.  I'm not gonna prevaricate, I usually don't like them and they usually don't like me.  I have never been hired by a woman.  Wait thats a lie, when I was 14 I was hired by a woman.  But job security!  So I said yes to the phone interview.

I wasn't sure how it went, its kinda hard to gauge reactions when you can't see someones face, but I didn't think I tanked it.  But I must be very hard on myself, cause my agent called me a short time later to say that the the HR lady loved me and wanted to know if I could come in the next day to meet in person.  So that's how I ended up with two interviews last Thursday, which was also the day it was 87 degrees here in NYC.  And then yesterday I got called in for a second interview at the job that I found on my own.  So things are looking up, but forgive me if I disappear.  Hopefully it means I'm dancin for dollars!