Back to Black

or Brownie as the case may be.  

It was around this time last year that he first got back in touch with me.  It had been about a year and a half since we had spoken that time.  And I was single, and had fired enough brain cells to forget why I had stopped seeing him in the first place, so we hooked back up.  I said to myself (and a couple of you said it too I believe) that there would be no harm in spending some time with him.  And there really wasn't.  But there really wasn't any gain either...

Honestly, I'm probably the last chick that you have to worry about pressuring a dude for a commitment.  So it wasn't that I was expecting a ring or anything even close to that.  Shit, I wasn't even looking for a toothbrush in his bathroom.  All the fuck I wanted is to feel like I wasn't wasting my time.

What do I mean by wasting my time?  Hmm, let's see.  If you invite me out to eat and spend the night at your house, and I'm wearing the hell out of a gorgeous white sundress and some sexy ass platform sandals and you're wearing basketball shorts, socks and sandals, I think you're wasting my time.  If you call and tell me about this comedy show that your going to this weekend and was wondering if you could stop by on your way home from the show, I think you're wasting my time.  (Really dude, why even tell me about the show?  If it's just about ass, why not just wait til you're on your way to the show and then call and see what I'm doing later?)  If I have to take a two fucking trains (LIRR no less) and spend an hour and 20 minutes just to get out to your house and you tell me that your not going to be able to drive me home (last time he saw my ass by the way) then I think you're wasting my time.

So, why was I chilling with Hautechick and the Artist when my phones starts trilling, "we always said goodbye with words, I died a hundred times, you go back to her and I go back to..."

Appropriate, no?  Wellll, would be if I'd actually said goodbye.  I really just stopped returning his phone calls or answering them if I was by the phone.  I just can't understand why he would call me again.  Ok, so I do have a little inkling as to what might have made him take the chance, but the sex wasn't that good.  At least not on my end.  You know, I really really really really miss having my mind blown.  I keep saying that I'll abstain for awhile, absence and fondness and all that jazz.  But all that ends up happening is that I have all of this unused sexual heat and longing that build and build and build until I can't take it any more and I do someone (usually stoopid) and I end up unleashing all of that on them, which to be honest they usually can't handle, but then their smitten or lusty or whatever the fuck you want to call it and then I can't get rid of their asses.  Or its halfway decent but my aggressiveness scares them off.  Punk asses.

But, that's besides the point.  The point is Brownie called me again, after about a year.  And while I'm not horny, ok so I'm not that horny.  Actually forget I said that part at all.  Anyway, I have a lot of free time on my hands, and he has a pool.  And the weathers nice.  And fuck a dress - sweats and a bikini ya feel me.  But I'll be damned if I drag my ass both ways on the LI fucking RR again....