Rat Fight

I'm a New Yorker, born and raised. More specifically, I'm a Brooklynite, so it is pretty safe to say that I have seen my fair share of crazy things. Especially on the trains. I've seen business men shit on themselves. I've seen all kinds sex acts and just about any other form of lewd and lascivious behavior that you could possible imagine. Once this man had an enormous erection. I mean I've seen some pretty big ones, and even though disturbing it was damned impressive. I swear that at least 4 women couldn't take their eyes off of it. He was obviously embarrassed, he hid his face for most of the ride, and definitely uncomfortable, the only touching he did was an occasional adjustment. Or maybe he just didn't want his picture to end up on the news.

Then on the hygiene end, there was the man whose underarms smelled so bad, he knocked about 3 people out when he raised his arm to hold on the the bar. You always get the nose pickers, and for some reason they are usually older Asian men. And I'd never have to take the train again if I had a dollar for every time I had to tell someone to cover their mouths when yawning/sneezing/coughing. (And for some reason the yawning seems to be mostly younger hipper women, who obviously have no home training. Come on, do you really think that all of these people want to smell your rank morning breath or see what you ate for breakfast?)

But by far the most interesting thing that I've seen in a long time was a rat fight in the tracks at Rockaway Avenue station. Now any New Yorker worth their J Brand Jeans knows that a good way to tell if the train is coming (long before they started installing those alarms and probably more reliable) was to see if the rats were scurrying off the tracks. So last night I thought nothing when I saw 2 rats emerge and start sniffing around. Since the were scurrying away from the express tracks, I figured that an express was about to pass through. I noticed that one of the rats had a rather nasty burn on one of his back legs - no I'm not making that up, nor do I know why I noticed this - and was limping slightly, and thought to myself, "he better hustle if he doesn't want to get hit."

Then, as the train passes through the station, I hear what I swear is a rat scream. I look down and homerats are scrapping like their lives depend on it, and maybe it does. I enjoy a good fight of any kind, and this was my first rat fight so I was riveted. I gotta say that it was slightly more entertaining than the last Merryweather fight. One was seriously getting his ass kicked to the point where rather than continue to fight, he ran right under the train that was passing through the station. Now I wasn't at all sad to see a rat lose its life, but I did think "aw poor burned rat got his ass kicked royally!" But when I looked at the victor, it was my old buddy burned rat! He was a straight OG, not a limp at all during the fight so I was starting to think that maybe it wasn't a limp, maybe that's just his swagger!